You are here

My boyfriend has a 3 year old daughter, and I need advice

arotellini130's picture

Submitted by arotellini130 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 3:26pm

I've been dating my long time friend of almost 8 years who is 26 and has a 3 year old daughter. The little girls mother was with my boyfriend for 5 years. They never really got along, infact she only had the baby to keep him close to her, but they broke up in January. I have been seeing him since May, at first dealing with the little girls mom was the first big hump for me, I've dealt with that, she knows im going to be with him forever, and we are on a frienly level now, but the girl calls him 24/7, for the most ridiculous reasons.. She even has his family convinced she has throat cancer, which is a like because she made everyone promise not to tell her family.. Hello are you people kidding me, shes lieing, if you have cancer you tell your own family, not JUST your ex's family. I've caught her in more lies than i care to talk about. My problem is with my boyfriends mother. We live in her house, and he only has his daughter 4 days a week.. Well his mother just decided after 4 months of us sleeping together, that im no longer allowed to sleep in his room when his daugther is here, in the room, next door, with its OWN door, the mere fact that the rooms are conected and that the babies mother doesnt approve of me sleeping there has been enough to scare this woman and make her tell me that im not allowed to sleep here anymore. I think its total bullshit, and my boyfriend is just like, letting her do and say whatever she wants bc it involves his kid. She has no clue what shes doing to our relationship, and although ive listened to her, and ive been sleeping on the couch, she comes in the living room every morning that im sleeping and goes on her computer. Like if you're going to be a bitch and tell me i cant sleep with myboyfriend, can u at least let me sleep in peace. At first i really liked his mother, but now, i feel like shes nothing but nasty to me, its almost as if she wants me to leave him so it can just be her son and her granddaugther there at the house with them. I just keep to myself in his room when she is home, i talk to her when i have to but other than that im not interested in befriending her anylonger. Shes on some powertrip ever since she stopped smoking marajuana and I really dont know how to deal with this woman until we move out of here. The 3 year old is even bitchy to me, tells me all the time "this isnt your house, thats not your daddy its mine" can someone please tell me how to handle this situation from all angles, i need to survive this family if i plan on being with my boyfriend forever!

Comments

arotellini130's picture

Submitted by arotellini130 on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 3:35pm

No, he was with this girl (who's 20) for 5 years, He had enough of her verbal abuse and yelling infront of their child, and broke it off with her in January, made her move out of the house and into her parents, they split the week Sat-wed, wed-sat with the child so they have equal time with her. I have been seeing him since May, but we've been friends forever.

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 4:29pm

RUN RUN RUN!!!!
why is he living at home still, why are you sleeping on his couch? dont you think more highly of your self then to degrade yourself (or allow his mother to) to daddys piece of ass that sleeps on the couch? if bf isnt standing up to his mom now and bm is already running your life, here is a vibrant picture of what the rest of your life is going to be, only it gets worse! do you not have a place to live that youre willing to sleep on a couch? can you move in with your parents or a friend? get away from the drama, and if he wants to man up and tell his mamma how things are gonna go, get a place for the two of you, and demand that people in his life treat you (you say you'll be together forever) with respect, then maybe i would say there is a glimpse of hope that you might have a happy life.

i had an ex that i was with through out high school and in to college, i can tell you....if his mother ever treated me that way, he would have found us a place to live the very next day!

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 4:36pm

Why are you living at this woman's house, why is your BF living with his mommy? Sounds like you are both teenagers!

dsfsdjfn's picture

Submitted by dsfsdjfn on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:43pm

I have to agree with smnikki that if bf is not standing up to his mom and bm is already making your life hell, it is not a good sign...in my humble experience, what has gotten me thru all weve been thru is that my hubby always took my side (or if he did not in his heart he did at least in front of people) if you dont have his support, it will be very hard...
I think you guys should not live with his mom...even if it costs more to live alone, or it is harder...I would rather be homeless that in MIL's home...when outsiders (other people that are not included in the you+your man equation) have their nose in your business it always gives them grounds to give their 2 cents, especially when nobody asked them their opinion...it will save you alot of headache...

alwaysme's picture

Submitted by alwaysme on Thu, 10/08/2009 - 8:50pm

get out now and save yourself, why should you sleep in a seperate room, that is just plain disrepectful to you. Trust me when i say this PACK YOUR STUFF AND LEAVE your BF is a loser, he lives with his mum and takes orders from his ex, he is not a man he is a lady boy. You may not see him and that light and i understand you love him but this situation is only going to get worse, far far worse and the love with turn to anger and resentment because by the sound of it you are 4th in line to his heart, kid first BM second and his mother third, then when they have all had their say then maybe he will talk to you.... Stuff that.

You wont regret finding someone else who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Sat, 10/10/2009 - 8:43pm

Umm ditto to everything... this is bad news lady. But if you're not going to leave. Do not have sex with him until he gets his own place, where you two can share a room!