I was looking at my planner today & for fun I looked back at the last 6 months. I realised there's been a serious change in visitation & that it's dropped off severely in these last few months. There are many factors for this, we moved & SKs don't have as much space here, I've been busy with work, DH & BM are having a legal battle over debts from their marriage & we've been pretty broke since DH's over time at work was cut. One huge factor, however, has been me. I'm certainly not taking all of the blame for this but I am starting to see a pattern in myself when visitation comes up. DH says--I'm going to get SKs this weekend. I reply--that's fine but I already accepted some extra hours (usually I haven't but I'm running to call up work & accept time I might not have taken were it only going to be DH, BS & I). I will glance at DH's work schedule & make plans months in advance to avoid a potential visit. When that fails, I'll plan for BS & I to be occupied. I tried once to tell DH when we hadn't had time alone together that I needed a break but he got very defensive. However, saying anything but that I just don't want to see SKs is ok for getting out of a visit. So i've learned to do that & I've gotten really good at it. I don't think this is a good thing. It's something I just got into the habit of doing. I expected DH to call me on it at some point & get back to long weekends & longer summer weeks of them invading my home. This hasn't happened yet. I also encourage DH to have SKs when I'm not home. I would love for them to have time with their dad without BS & I to get in the way. DH never goes for this, though. He insists that we have to do it all together or not at all. So I took my share in visitation suffering but I wonder a lot about DH. He gets so moody & angry when we have them but he won't admit that he's miserable when they're here. He also goes these long stretches where he won't see them as long as I give him every reason but the truth for why we're not keeping them. DH isn't afraid to stand up to me & he's pretty smart. I would love to know what's really going on with him & this but I'm scared to ask. It might send him on a mission to inflict them on me everyday for six months.