Ugh!! Family drama! DH and I have had quite the week. The worst is with my MIL. I don't usually get happy about conflict but last night DH stood up for us to my MIL and it was such a relief.

Background: MIL has nothing to do with mine and DH's 2-year-old son. She's never even watched him. All she ever does is harp on us that we never have SKs enough, that SS5 is sooo neglected, and that she's just going to start taking them more often. This usually accumulates into her taking them overnight then trying to get DH to come and pick them up because she's so tired and wants to get her nails done, go gambling with FIL, etc. DH refuses to take them when she does this and she'll let it go for another 6 months before she starts harping that we just don't do enough. Furthermore, when she says she wants to "do something with the kids", she means something with my SKs and her daughter's children. This doesn't mean that our son is invited or that we're even informed. It's taken me a lot to deal with that, but, as my mom said, "BS2 has plenty of people in his life who love him. MIL's the one who's missing out on the chance to be one of them." I'm really learning to see it that way as well. She's always complaining that BM is such a terrible/negligent mother, accuses her current husband of abusing SKs, and generally makes it sound like they're living in a box like abandoned puppies.

I have no love for BM. She kind of is the soap opera that never ends. However, I don't think that her husband is hurting SKs. I think they play it up in front of MIL because she encourages them to act like it's true. :sick: BM is definitely dysfunctional, particularly in her relationships with men. She's so wrapped up in her love life that she does ignore her children when she's unhappy. She's a selfish woman who hasn't accomplished anything for herself. But I don't think that means she wants to see her children get hurt. She just doesn't get it.

The combination of BM and MIL creates this ongoing drama. The latest installment was at SD8's birthday party last Saturday. We have separate parties, but BM invited my sister-in-law's daughters over because it was a slumber party. Apparently during the party, BM and her husband got into it over something and started yelling and screaming at each other...how classy. Anyway, they told the kids not to tell anyone, so of course the kids told everyone. When it got back to MIL, she made it out to sound like she expects us to give SD8 some huge extravagant birthday party to make up for the fact that she has a crappy mother. It makes me so mad because cake and ice cream at our house was good enough for BS2 (and we have a beautiful house, it's very open with lots of space, it's perfect for a party) so I think that makes it good enough for SD8. We were planning on taking the kids swimming as a surprise but not because of SD's bad party.

The other issue is with SS5 and his glasses. He's been through all the pairs that insurance will pay for. The rest is out of pocket. He's got terrible eyes and it's not that DH and I are unwilling to pay out of pocket. The problem is, BM doesn't watch her kids, especially when she's fighting her latest boyfriend/husband. She sends them outside all day and she's never taught SS to take care of them. This means that he's just going to keep breaking them. We've even offered to repair the ones he's broken so far but she won't let us have them. And who's to say she won't just break them out of spite if we do try to pay for them? (Yes, she's done this with clothes we've bought them, there were witnesses.) We're considering getting him a pair for when he's with us, but I don't know how much good that's going to do when he's in school 52 miles away (we keep them mainly on weekends during the school year because of the distance).

I just don't like them, BM or MIL. I dread having family events where MIL will be there. I even resent the stupid lawn ornament she gave me as a housewarming gift (I told her the hail destroyed it) because it was so cute and over-the-top just like her.I love that I have my own life so 9 times out of 10 I can just tell MIL that I'm just too busy when she starts harping. I do step out of the conflict with DH and MIL and give my opinion later. But it still gets on my nerves.