Rough Morning
Well it all started last night. After reading lots of posts over the past week and listening to all the advice we all give, I decided I needed a night out. Well, I guess SD was not happy about it. Apparently she was acting out all evening and FH decided to take her to bed early. Only, into our bed. So, when I got home, at 8:30 (EARLY) they were both sleeping. My turn for the couch, which was actually fine with me, because I just got the "Step Monsters" book and I was excited to start reading. Anyway, FH had to go to work at 3am this morning, which left me to get SD ready for school. Thats where the DRAMA began. She refused to get out of bed, I had to carry SD5 up two flights of stairs. UGH. I had her clothes laid out, BIG MISTAKE. She completely freaked out that I made her wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Its only 60 degrees today. She screamed and cried and locked the door. It was not pretty. Of course I felt completely guilty after I dropped her off and she went running without saying gbye. I know this all sounds like no big deal, just another day, but to me it was a big deal. It just goes to show that I have NO CONTROL of this childs behavior. And I so wish things were different!
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When I think about it.........
I'm remembering back to when my biokids were little and they would give me a hard time before school. I used to hate it when they went off to school mad or upset with no wave goodbye, no love you, no nothing..........but I always knew they loved me and by the end of the day they would have all ready forgotten that morning and they'd rush home to see me aahhh - no worries.
BUT with the skids, it's totally different! I don't want them mad at me or upset with me. I certainly would not want them going off to school mad or upset, and do you know why? Because they're not MY kids. They might not like me the next time they see me. And that could be a couple days later. Let's face it - you don't have to "work" to get your biokids to like/love you. But with the skids we certainly feel like we have to "work" to get them to like/love us, because we're not a bioparent. It just sucks.
Those are my feelings anyway and I never really thought about that until just now.
******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******
Wow
We must've been channeling one another in our comments (see mine below).
true
And of course my day is plagued by this. I'm feeling super guilty.
Children, can't live with 'em, can't...you know the rest.
If it's any comfort my BD5 has pulled the same crap with me about clothes. The difference is that when they are your child, they feel regret about their behavior afterwards and try to win you back over. When they are not, sometimes (not always) they don't bother.
Can't sell them into slavery
And go buy some nice clothes and a vacation with the hubby???
Is that how it goes?
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Ha
But if I sell them into slavery, who will fan me with palm fronds and paint my nails? Yea right! Remember the days when people had large families because they needed the help running the farm and the household. Now we have children and we treat them like fine jewelry that is meant to be cherished and protected. My mom grew up on a farm, picking cherries and other fruit, canning, milking cows, etc. She worked every day and has nothing but the fondest memories of her childhood.
Too funny... I just had this same discussion, Crayon too...
with DH and SD the other day. People had large families because the incidence of child death was much higher back then as well. And kids WORKED.
I had read something recently that the incidence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is becoming more and more prevalent because of industrialized society. That after WWII, as families let their children actually have childhoods (!) and that children were treated better, it gave rise to this personality disorder. It's becoming more and more common.
I thought that was kind of interesting. And for some reason, it made me think of Crayon, because of how she talks about her childhood.
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
N.A.P.
I would also suggest that this personality disorder is made more prevalent by our need to protect our children's self esteem incessantly. Everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season. Kids get check marks and pass/fail until they reach fifth grade because, god forbid, they should be upset by a bad grade. I could go on and on. I read that children need to feel needed. Giving them jobs and really making them critical to running the house makes them feel more important and connected and as if they are a meaningful and important member of the family.