turns out that evil BM made it clear to skids that I was the cause of her unhappiness. Forget the fact that they divorced 15 years ago and she has another set of kids with some other guy. I am more attractive than she is and she was devastated that DH remarried and we both estatic.

My offenses:

* I looked at her funny
* I didn't invite her to our wedding. She told skids that DH would have wanted her there and it must be my fault she wasn't invited
* who knows what other stupid crap she said

So skids were punishing me to show loyalty to BM. DH confronted them and they innocently protested that they didn't know what he was talking about. You see, she had sworn them to secrecy. I finally couldn't take it anymore and said I was leaving him. He finally sat their little hineys down and said if anybody was leaving, it wasn't me. It took several talks by DH to get the point accross. They said "your taking her side!" I didn't know there was a side to be on. I never even spoke to BM.

There little sorry butts got a lot nicer after that. I don't really like them anymore because it went on for so long but we are all polite. If I had known it would be like this, I wouldn't have married DH.

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

so maybe my opinion can help.

I don't know how long you've known these kids, but I didn't always address my stepmother directly either. There were some questions that I just felt more comfortable asking my father. But she was always in the room, so I felt that that kind of hindered my relationship with my father, because I couldn't ask him these things and have an open conversation with him about it.

That being said, I truly don't think they're doing this to be mean to you. It's an issue that most skids face too. They're still trying to accept you, the fact that Dad remarried, and the fact that Dad and Mom won't be getting back together again. That's a tough pill for a kid to swallow, no matter how old they are.

I think you and your husband need to work out a compromise on this issue- allow him and his kids some 1-on-1 time to talk about life, and have him ask about their lives, and have him allow them to vent about their stepfamily situation, knowing that they'll probably also vent about you. But he needs to make it clear that if they want to vent about you, they must do so in a polite way, i.e. "Dad, I'm really having a hard time getting along with/accepting June. What can I do, and how can you help me?" They might benefit from counseling, because that can be a very helpful and constructive way for them to vent. Your husband will have to make some compromises though, too- he needs to set aside times when you can all sit down and talk (i.e. over breakfast, lunch or dinner, in the car, etc.) and HE needs to take the lead in including you in the conversation, asking you what you think about the issue at hand, making the kids make eye contact with you, making them extend you basic civility (i.e. greeting/saying goodbye/goodnight to you, thanking you for when you do something for them, etc). He needs to enforce this basic civility with consequences for the skids if they don't show it to you.

My skids have done that to me for the past 3 years. They used to cut me off mid-sentence too - that was always fun...

Only 1 of my SD's still comes over to our house and she does it all the time and believe me I give her plenty of one on one time with DH because I can't stand to be in the same room with her half the time.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin