Just stay calm... see if Dawn or the administrator can help you delete the blogs. I think you can do it yourself as well.

Try to remind him that really, most of us don't really "know" you. We know you from your blogs, but personally, I know you about as well as I know Jon & Kate!!

As far as private info.... I've looked back through your past blogs to see if I can see how much you've revealed. I don't think it's more or less than the rest of us. I don't know your exact address, last name, his last name, or even his first name!!

He may say it's the fact that you revealed "private" info.. but I suspect - just my opinion here - that his hurt feelings go deeper than privacy and may be at the heart of your true feelings. For example - the "did you ever feel you married your DH not to let BM win". It might be more of reading that and those feelings that may be making him sad.

Just again, please try to stay calm. Re-read some of your blogs and responses from his point of view. Realize that although, yes, you did hurt him, you also felt those things enough to write them. Don't let the argument get away from you that it's about all of us out here. It's about and between you two.

You guys can work this out if he can realize it's just venting to nameless souls out here, most of which you may never ever even lay eyes on. Also, if he can step back and realize that what you wrote may have been hurtful to him, but also hurtful to you.

Good luck!! Stay strong... and try to make this for the positive, instead of letting it spiral into negative.

But none of us know you and we aren't going to repeat what you said in your community. This is pretty much anonymous, no?

That was the whole point for me of coming on here. I could rant and rave and no one would know my DH, Skids or me and repeat anything I say. It sure has helped me avoid talking to others who might know the family. It's a good release valve. I hope FH will reconsider.

"I know God has a wonderful plan for me, I just wish He would tell me what it is"

I finally let DH in on the fact that I've had an acct here for almost 2 years!! Believe it or not, other than getting some really good advice it's also refreshing to know that:

A) I'm not alone; lots of folks here are in the same situation

Some people here have it a lot worse; There are BM's out there that would make ours look like the Pope....

So maybe you can try to explain that you're frustrated and it's like a support group. I mean, would he be upset if you were an alcoholic and went to AA??

go to you main page and on click on one of the posts. I believe you then hit edit and it gives you the option to edit or delete. Down side is you have to do it one post at a time.
You may want to wait because you bf may think you wrote things that worse than you actually did and then deleted them.

Do you really want a marriage that requires censorship? A lot of the gals here(self included) made the mistake of feeling we didn't deserve an outlet for frustration. Keeping an account here is your right as a woman and future sm IMHO. If he doesn't like it or feels violated, offer a calm apology and explain your position...he can either accept or leave you and IF he leaves you, consider yourself hurt but lucky not to be tied to someone who doesn't respect that you need emotional support.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

what my DH would do if he knew I was here... hmmm.... I think that yes, he would FREAK out. He caught me muttering to myself "It's not my problem, It's not my problem" over and over and said "What the heck is that about" and I said it was just something I had recently learned to do to save my sanity and he just said "Huh, ok then" LOL Never asked where I learned it from or what it even meant... he just went with it. Too funny!

But, if he actually knew how I really feel.. well, things might get U-G-L-Y! Yikes!

The truth DOES hurt sometimes but it is NECESSARY to vent! But I'm sure we'd all be just as angry and hurt if our bf/dh was just blogging away about how wretched we are sometimes in his opinion. However, I'm sure we'd understand his need to vent. just like I've said before, I wanna see the blogs done by our skids and their bms! lol, talk about a burn-fest!

If you can't be honest in your own marriage how does that make you feel safe and loved? If your husband or future husband can't see that you need to be nasty and vent sometimes but just don't want to do it to him then what message does that give about your future with him? You're trying to do the right thing by getting advice BEFORE talking to him about stuff that bothers you to avoid fighting needless battles. Wish he could understand that.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

What's next? Will he ask you exactly what you say when you confide in your girlfriends or mother? Will he ask you to keep your mouth shut to everyone?

We ran into a similar issue here. I am very close to my mother and my best friend. When things get out of hand I vent to them. FH is VERY uncomfortable with this and has told me many times that my mother or my friend should not know our business. He's right up to a point. My mother doesn't need to know our finances. But I sure as heck am gonna cry to her if he decides to have the skids visit without consulting me! Venting is healthy and necessary. If you can't confide in anyone, how long will it take for you to implode?

I can understand your FH's discomfort. If he vented about me to someone else, even in an anonymous forum, I'd probably be upset with some of the things he said. Actually, I'd probably have a cow. But I also recognize that you can't keep this stuff inside you or else it will eat away at your brain until you end up in a straightjacket.

Now my FH has no problem with my posting here.

There's nothing personal, really, about it. For all we know your name isn't nikki, it could be Jen!

You are here to fuss, that's it. he should be okay with that.

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

Most of us wouldn't be on here if we were happy with our situation and didn't feel like the people in our lives who have the most power to help us feel better were really listening to us with open ears and a loving heart.

Smnikki, I'm so sorry you're going through this. But I hope that at some point you'll be able to sit down and have a calm discussion with him, during which you can tell him that the reason you sought out this site in the first place is that you had so much frustration built up and nowhere to release it/no one to release it to. If he loves you, he will hear that. And in that case, this could be the unexpected start to a much better relationship with him.

I understand he's probably really hurt by a lot of what he read. But honestly, haven't you tried to talk to him about all this stuff in the past? Be understanding of his hurt, but expect that he be understanding of yours. I agree with the other posters on here: if he can't hear you when you explain this, then do you really want to be in a relationship where you're expected to censor yourself and not feel anything that isn't convenient?

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

me posting here and is OK with it. he says that I have gained different perspectives posting here and sometimes when I can't get my point across, I let him read my blogs or other posts, and he gets it!

And he also knows that if I post anything about him it is the TRUTH. He sometimes reads over my shoulders, I tell him about some of the problems that other posters here are having, and he feels sorry for a lot of the women here and the crap they have to deal with on a daily basis.

My exfh cited this site as part of why we ended. He said I only thought about the negative that could happen because "all I read here is negative." I called bs on that one. This website made me realistic about what I was getting myself into. It was far better than seeing myself as still living in rainbows and butterflies, and seeing the storm for what it was. And, believe me, I knew it wouldn't be pretty, but it made me less afraid to try to make it work and helped me stick around longer. In reality, he should thank this site. Otherwise, he wouldn't have any baby crap for his kids, cause I paid for all that.

To every thing there is a season.

My wife has been on here for a little while and told me about it.
I was like, "Oh cool can I join?" Or do you need this to vent?

She told me she had no problems with it, So I took a peek yesterday, and found a post that was just like my situation and learned some things that I did not know about.
(It hurt.)

From this end of it?
I know no one here knows us, that was not an issue.
I was shocked on what I did not know about our family relationship.
I felt cheated out of our relationship.

We talked about it.
Shared some tears. Got through it.
But I can tell you I am a bit fearfull of what else I may stumble on now. And the thing is I like this site. I want her to vent, but I guess I expected to not be surprised about anything she wrote.
I would rather our relationship be more open than what I have mistaken it to be.

well lunch is over,
Sorry so short gatta go.

I tell him everything and he tells me everything. He knows I'm on the site but doesn't know what I am saying. Most of it I probably wouldn't want him to read because my rage was so explosive, sometimes I think I am probably pretty unlikelable. That's what so much injustice and lack of care towards someone creates.

We ladies are like that, we need to get things off our chest and be understood. I feel so much better after talking to you ladies, I can hardly believe it.

"I know God has a wonderful plan for me, I just wish He would tell me what it is"