I am generally a content and positive SM. My H is great and SS is a great kid too. However there are times that SS does things that just crawl all over me!!! Then BM...don't get me started!

Monday H, BM, and SS went to SS counseling. Counselor saw SS then saw H and BM together. while SS was in with the counselor BM bragged to H that her BF had taken SS to the gym and he tapped out a couple of the other kids. H said I am ok with him watching the UFC fighting but I do not want it to be encouraged that he do that because it could really hurt him. BM says well SS has a smart ass mouth on him and needs to be able to take care of himself and besides I want him to leard a skill so he does not have to dig ditches and laughs. H lays main line water line so part of his job is digging the ditch so that was a cut at him. Then BM tells H that the real SS is the smart ass she deals with everyday and we do not know real SS that he is fake and depressed with us. OK SS is an 8 year old boy with ADHD. He is wild, at times obnoxious, and all over the place. He is that way with us and with her. However when he is with us he is sooooo loving. If he tells us once he tells us a million times love you Dad and StepG. Now when he is with his mother he is a smart ass... I cannot stand to be around him in her presense. H says BM is just grasping for straws to say things about us cause she knows deep down that SS is happy here and loves us and is probably jealous he is so hateful with her and not with us.

While in there session with the counselor it was mostly discussed that SS needs to attend his summer tutoring for reading and BM hasn't been taking him cause she had better things to do... her words. Anyway BM had told SS he could spend the night with her sister Monday night and would not be going to tutoring on Tuesday. So that would be 6 sessions he has had but only been to 2 of them. Anyway they agree that SS needs to do the tutoring. So after counseling in parking lot BM tells SS that he is not going to her sister cause he is going to tutoring tomorrow. Well SS flipped a script. He began screaming at his mother, growling at her, and balling his fist at her. What does BM do? She argues back with him. He tells her he is going to do what he wants to and he does not care what she says and she is stupid. BM says son don't talk to me that way. Her tone was just as smart ass as his but not screaming. So H just stands there and tells BM you should not let him talk to you that way. So SS is still acting a fool and the counselor comes out and asks is everything OK? H said yes he is just yelling at his mother cause she is taking him to counseling tomorrow. Counselor tells H and BM to stay strong.

When H told me all this I felt my pulse rising and thought oh boy I would have smacked the crap out of him and told him to shut his mouth and get in the car. So why am I so upset because of how SS treated BM? One side of me is like ha you get what you deserve BM you created that with him but on the other side it makes me angry and sad because SS knows better. H says the fit SS threw BM threw them regularly during their marriage. We have seen SS throw these fits but the common factor in all the fits is BM. I can only imagine how he acts and treats them at her house because that is how they treat him! At what age do you stop blaming product of environment and have the kids take responsibility for his own actions? I ask myself that all the time.

H and I have long ago resolved that what BM and SS do to each other is their business. We have told SS if you and BM want to treat each other like trash then that is ya'lls business but we do not do that here.

I see on here about SM and SD wanting disengage from their Skids and that has always hurt my heart cause I love my SS and he is 95% of the time great with us. But now after I think about it I could not imagine what it would be like to be BM's boyfriend. I could not live with a child like SS and the way he acts at his mom's. It would be hard to like let alone love a child like him!

I am just at a loss for my feelings. I will not say a word to SS today for how he acted to BM on Monday but deep down I would love to pop him and tell him he knows better than to treat his mom that way no matter how she acts. Why do I feel the need to defend BM to SS and get on to him for how he treated her....why? because I love him and want everyone including BM to see the super wild but so loving sweet boy that I know, not the smart ass punk he is with her!

So I guess now I see why some want to disengage and infact totally dislike their skids but I also realize that it is the parent fault 95% of the time cause they have allowed the kid to be this way from early age. I am firm believer that as soon as your child tells you no then it is time to crack down.

I am due in Janurary with my first child and being a SM has given me so much insight into how I am going to do things with my kid. H and I are on same page with discipline. H would pop SS on calf of leg at 2 1/2 yr old when SS would say no to him and H has always had the respect of SS.

again sorry so long thanks for reading