Is this a good thing?
We got email from our attorney that said she ran into BM's attorney at the court house she wanted to know if we were willing to get together again for an informal mediation with our attorneys before we are supposed to go to court next month.
We trying for 50/50 and our date is Sept 24th. They all been going to counseling and that not going all great for BM as she has said she angry H wants more time and she has no reason why he should not have more time. also counselor told that the past needed to be let go of cause it was hurting SS.
What should we take from them wanting to meet again? Would the attorney have asked for this if she thought we would lose in court? Would she have had to ask BM first before asking our lawyer? We went to real mediation (what a joke) in March and BM did not budge any. However since then we have turned over all our documentation to them plus the counseling going on.
Thoughts?
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I would demand
That a professional mediator is there maybe a different one - not just the attorneys, The BM attorney can see what she would be saying a groom it different for the judge (kinda like a pre trial)
Or ask if it could be taped and either party could use in court
I was sort of hoping
that she wanted to try and come to an agreement so we would not have to go to court. so much for that I guess.
Yes it's a great idea
DH and BM did this once before and they were able to come to an agreement and both saved attorney fee's! (Does your attorney charge an additional fee if they have to go show in court) You will also get a good idea of what BM is wanting/willing to give instead of going to court and finding out then and having to make a decision right there on the spot. Remember you control how long you want to try to come to an agreement if after an hour or so BM isn't budging then simply stand up say "thank you...we'll see you in court". I don't know your current situation...why you want 50/50 but I will share with you that having 50/50 works best ONLY when both parents can communicate. DH has 50/50 and every time either gets mad both will withhold information and tell the other "go ask Dr. so and so....ask the teachers...if you really want to know go find out yourself"....a lot more games are played and if you have any drama be prepared for that to get worse.
Be warned sometimes these "meeting" are ploys by both attorney to avoid going to court. Attorney do not like having to be in court if they can find a way for both parties to come to an agreement without going to court they will try. have you asked your attorney what they advise? DH's attorney called and asked if he would be willing to sit with BM and her attorney DH asked "what do you think I should do" Attorney said "it wont hurt to at least go hear what they are proposing". You don't have to even say anything if you don't want to...you can go and hear what the proposal is and go from there
Good luck
I think it sounds like
a great idea. Though, I agree that I dont think they would have asked for a meeting if they thought they would win!
I think..
It's better..not just for the stress of you guys, but for the kids too. No harm in going and see what they want...and she may be willing to go with the 50/50!!
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost