Hording Food???

Ok..I had to speak with BM on Sunday in regards to SD9 about some issues..anyway as everyone knows we have SD EOW. Well BM told me that SD is hiding food in her room....I asked why??

Ok quickly, SD9 is beautiful but really doesnt eat well. Her BM has always feed her pasta, bread, perogies..etc...so of course she has gained weight..so for the past year BM says she is packing her good lunches but SD will not eat the food and brings it back home and gives her mom hell for packing food she doesn't like. So SD is now hiding food in her room at her BM's house...what the heck is going on??? this kid will not eat breakfast, brings back her lunch, eats what her BM puts on her plate..so how in the world did she gain so much weigh in two weeks....

help me out her, how do we handle this the next time we see her???? help...

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See the problem is she is

See the problem is she is very stubborn and just want to do what she wants. So now finally because my DH has told BM for many years that my BD's weight was out of control and she needed to feed her properly. So I guess she is being teased at school, not sure to what extent because no one ever tells us what the heck is going on.

She is not hard done by, she eats very well when she's with us but I know she's not liking that her tummy is sticking out...(that's what she told us)...

I always tell her you are beautiful and you can eat anything you want but only a little bit at a time..but you need to keep active...

I'm really at a loss and worried that this is the start of an eating disorder....

Hi naturalmom, It's so nice

Hi naturalmom,
It's so nice to hear from you. The truth is BM and I have no relationship but some issues arose that I had to suck it up and speak to her on Sunday as it was in the best interest of my SD. This is where I found out she was hording food.

At our house she eats healthy and loves my cooking. I make all home cook meals and if she wants a snack she has an apple with some peanut butter or she will have an orange. Our meals are very balanced and as I said all home made. We are very active people and always plan family activities on our weekends with her.

I really do not like BM as she really is a lousy mother and you are so right I have no control over what goes on at her house..but my gosh I am so concern about her as alot of issues came alive last weekend..

I'm feeling very lost right now and so is my SD....

naturalmom..you are so right,

naturalmom..you are so right, I need to take a breath and just look after her and let her know we love her and will always be here for her...

Thanks so much ... hugs to you as well...

Hi Soon to be

Hi Soon to be Step-mom,

Thanks for your response. Since I met her I have instilled good eating habits, positive body image, but I believe it goes further than that.

I bought a new scale and everytime she comes over she weighs herself. I told her no need to weigh yourself, just eat healthy. So I hid the scale and she found it and weighed herself again and she had gained 5lbs in 2 weeks and she looked at me said well that's no so bad...I didnt know what to say. I dont want to destroy her self esteem, so I said to her 5lbs is quite a bit but you need to eat good food and get active..

I'm at a loss...

SD asked me about that when

SD asked me about that when she turned 8 and we chatted a little bit and I told her she needed to have a chat with her mom about this. Well BM called my DH and told him to tell me to mind my own business as I am not her mother, I do not have any kids and I have no idea what I'm talking about..she went as far as to tell my DH that she would go to her lawyer about this..

So that said, I have equiped my SD with a great book (age appropriate of course) and we did chat about it so she is prepared and I put all the items required in her bathroom.

Oh Yes BM is just plain

Oh Yes BM is just plain nuts... I do not like her at all but hey I love my SD.

I told BM on Sunday that this child needs to wear training bras and she needs to shower, eat properly and get active. SD needs to dress a little better and not in track pants, how can she feel good about herself when she always looks like a bum. I know something is bothering her, she told me some stuff but I think there is alot more that I'm not aware of..

It sounds like the BM you deal with is just as bad as the one I deal with..It's a shame that they actually call themselves mothers..You sound like a great SM and I'm sure you skids love you...

Thanks I wont let him off the

Thanks I wont let him off the hook..

Have a good night..

I remember that I was the

I remember that I was the first one to point out that my SD needed to start wearing training bras. I told H and he mentioned it to BM but the next time SD came down, it was still without a bra.

So, I went with her to the store and bought three that she picked out. She seemed excited. But she never wore any of them even once.

BUT, next time she came down, she was wearing a training bra. So I am thinking that BM thought I overstepped my boundaries again...

In fact, now that I think about it, SD never wore ANYTHING that I bought for her - even if she told me how much she liked it! Funny, I never put 2 and 2 together until now...

I know it seems the minute we

I know it seems the minute we SM mention something to BM they get all bent out of shape. geez if they are too blind to see what is needed then yes we do have to point it out.

SD when at my home always wears the bras that I've bought her..always I do not say a word to her it's automatic when she gets dressed she puts on a bra...but when I pick her up she never has one on so I know for a fact she doesn't wear a bra at her moms and unfortunately a kid passed a remark last week which really hurt my SD..kids can be so mean...

Hmmm curious as to why your SD never wore anything you bought her..did she not want to upset her BM???? hmmmmm

Hey Finey! I like your

Hey Finey!

I like your attitude :). You know what after reading everything that you all have been so gracious to write I am going to mix things up. I'm thinking maybe tae-kwon-do even if it is every other weekend. I'm sure some community center will be fine with that.

I do not want my SD to feel like she doesnt belong anywhere and then finds comfort at a very young age with a boy that will only want one thing from her. I need to get her confident and feeling good about herself. Hey if BM wont do anything then I will...

again thanks everyone... today is a brighter day

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