My skids have two siblings (not DH's kids). They are BM's from her first marriage. DH raised them from a young age until he and BM split. I think skids were 1 at the time. So DH was first father figure in my skids siblings life. Here is my issue..

Background:

When DH and I met, BM was having an affair with her best friends husband. He had the kids EOW or EO2W, whichever was in effect at that time. (We are strictly on EOW presently) This all came out into the open, and they moved in together. Skids and their 2 siblings as well. They split about 2 months later. I don't know where BM moved them all at that time. A month later, she is in another relationship. A month after this started, she moved all five of them into his home. Two months after that, BM married the new guy. Now, presently, I have learned that they are splitting as well and BM is moving the five of them somewhere else. I don't know where, but considering she doesn't work, I doubt it will be into a home that she lives in alone and/or pays for.

My Issue:

It really sucks for my skids and their siblings. I mean, skids are young and might not realize what's going on to full extent. But their siblings are in grade school. They have lived with three different men since I have been around, and are now leaving another man. These kids are going to be messed up, and confused! It makes me sick that BM just brings men in and out of their lives like this. Since I have been around, they have lived in four or five different places, and it's never BM being provider. It makes me sad for them..

DH and I were together a year before we moved in together. Granted that I stayed over sometimes and took the kids to school and we did breakfast and everything, we didn't make that commitment of all four of us living under the same roof 24/7 until we had put some time into the relationship. We spent a lot of time together doing things.. the skids told me they loved me when they went to bed, I bathed them, we went to the lake and did fun things. But, DH and I felt it right to wait a year before making a commitment like that. For the skids, and for us as well!

I just hate BM for doing this to her children. She has never been considered a "mother", but damn! You don't think that after 4 months of a great relationship that I didn't fantasize the thought of moving in with DH? Of course I did! He did too, but it's not about us, it's about the children. What would happen to them if we were to split after 8 months and we moved in together after being together for 4? That is what she is doing to her children, and it infuriates me! Think of the children first before you go through with your idiotic desire of wanting a man to care for you and your four kids without you having to work or get off your ass to do anything.

I raise your children and work two jobs. The LEAST you can do is to show them a little respect and not bring every Tom, Dick, and Harry into their lives just to take them away after they form a relationship.

:O