Totally believable! I was warned (by my mother), that a man with a kid was NOT something I wanted to get involved with. I can see why, now that its been a few years, drama with BM isnt lessening any, and SD is getting older and more of a pain...

I do know that a lot of people with kids (both male and female) hook up with others that have kids.. Then you have the my kids and his kids and then they bring in the our kids. UGH MESSY! My fdh has a friend that has the his kids, and her kids and the kids they have together, some of which have the other parent outside the relationship involved, others that dont. Plus their ex's kids that they were the parent to when they were with their exes.. the she cheated on him, and that kids real dad is spacy, so Im here full-time and Ill be dad, etc etc just yadda yadda. M E S S Y!!!!

My dad's wife had her kids (2) and dad had us (me and my brother), thankfully they didnt have any together, but its always well your kid did this, and well your kid is doing this..

I think anytime you have outside forces (the exes and the kids that arent yours) the pressure is just too much. You cant just work it out amongst yourselves because its not just all about you two, and your kids.

Thankfully BM and SD live an hour away, and just maybe someday Ill be able to talk FDH into moving farther.

2nd marriages in general have a higher divorce rate though none of the stats I read were specific if skids were involved. Heck 1st marriages are between 45%- 50% divorce rate as of 2011.

As sad as it is I can totally see SO and I splitting at some point if his kids don't get under control.

I can totally believe this. With PAS, guilty parenting and all the other crap step-parents put up with, its a miracle any of us stay married!

Certainly the numbers don't lie.

Do second marriages fail at a higher rate than initial marriages? Yes, they do.

However, I am a firm beleiver that we have the power of self determination to not be a statistic if we make viable decisions.

I am divorced. My first marriage lasted 2.5 years. My skank of an XW ran off with her geriatric fortune 500 executive sugar dady. I did not divorce her. She divorced me. Those facts never show up in statistics. Generally no supporting facts show up in statistics. Only the story that the person collecting the statistics wants to tell shows up in the statistics.

I have been married to my amazing soul mate for nearly 18 years. I am her first husband. So, do we have a 50% chance of divorcing, a 75% chance of divorcing, a 125% chance of divorcing (50 + 75) a 62.5% chance of divorcing, or some other risk of divorcing?

Who knows. Statistics are developed by people who want to confirm a hypothesis that may or may not be relevent.

My wife was also a 16yo single teen mom. According to statistics she should be a HS drop out on her 3rd, 4th, 5th +.... etc out of wedlock child by 1+X babby daddys and surviving only by the benevelence of some social entitlement program.

In reality she is in a nearly 18yr marriage, has completed HS, a dual major BS and an MBA all with honors and has a successful career as a CPA. Her (our) son, the product of a statutory (though unconvicted)rape inducing relationship is nearly 20, has no children, has his own thriving USAF career and is a college student himself. According to statistics our son should be a crack head HS drop out criminal with multiple oowl spawn of his own by now. Because a single teen mom could not possibly be successful or raise a viable adult without the benevolent support and dictated guidance of Uncle Sugar (Sam).

You will not see single teen moms cumm successful professional women in any statistics. YOu will not see children born to single teen moms who have not grown in to sleazy dirt bags in any statistics.

Those statistics do not allow the pseudo scientists in the social "sciences" fields to justify their own existence. Those statistics do not allow the gov't to con the tax payers in to endlessly funding failed social programs.

So, statistics are only as good as the story that those who use them want to tell. If the story teller has no character, the story is bullshit.

Be careful of the cool aid. It is usually poisoned.

Enjoy your marriage whether it is your first, second, etc.... Just make sure it is strong,commited, healthy, growing, thriving and your last.

IMHO of course.

fdh and i aren't married, but we would have split up almost 4 years ago if it weren't for bs4. sd19 moved in when bs was 8 months. she made my life hell for a year until she moved out again. if i didn't have bs, i would have left. i stayed because i wasn't going to let that little bitch rob my son of his family. had it been just me, yeah i'd have run. fdh gave her all the power. she ran this house and our relationship. it took me telling him i would just leave if that is what sd wants and needs to be happy for him to see what she was doing. yeah it was manipulative of me to say that, but it worked. it opened his eyes and that was my goal. it was shortly after that sd moved out because poor baby wasn't allowed to run the show anymore.