Hello everyone!
I'm not a stepparent, but I have a stepparent related issue so I decided to post here because I think you may have an idea how to solve it.. Some of you could be in a similar situation, I suppose.
My mother and father were never married, they were actually never in a relationship. They were best friends and um.. they made me and my sister. We're twins. Anyways, our parents would take us out together when we were younger, they even lived together for some time, but it was not a romantic relationship,they were never in love. I found out this by accident, and it was a problem for me in the beggining, but I got used to it. I would like it better if it was different but oh well.. That's just how it is.
So they took us out, lived together, got used to be parents.. But after some time,they stopped doing that as they wished to have new partners,and it was when we were maybe 6 years old. Mom found a great guy soon after that and is still with him. Me and sis love him and I think and hope he loves us back. He's just a really awesome person and I'm happy that mom found him. He's helpful, kind, almost always in a good mood,he's just very fun to be around. If he was younger he'd be my best friend lol
So anyways, we had no problems with him, ever. Also dad didn't have a problem with their relationship - they're all on good terms and have no problems.
Now they even went on a double date a few times....Dad was with his girlfriend. She's not really that NEW, but still all of this didn't start a long time ago.. So yeah it's kind of a "new" situation because it keeps getting more serious so stuff changes.
And, she and my sister are the reason I'm posting this.
Dad's girlfriend is definitely not a bad person. She's not the person I'd choose to spend my time with, she can annoy me very often with her behaviour that just rubs me the wrong way,she's simply not the kind of person I like. but she's not a BAD person. She does a lot for me and my sis,and I'm very grateful. She's kind of dear to me - even though she can be irritating, she's doing lots for us and it means to me a lot. Even when I want her to just disappear, I treat her with respect because she deserved it. But it's not liimited to just her, sometimes I want everyone to disappear. It's not as personal as it may sound.
But my sister hates her. She's very disrespectful and mean to her,and she's trying very hard to separate her and dad. I wouldn't do that because I see no reason to. She makes dad happy, helps him and helps us. Yeah she often makes ME happy and I see no reason to give up a chance to have someone older and mature to give me advice and make me cookies. That'd be a stupid thing to do.
And my sister is doing the stupid thing. I tried talking to her about it but she won't listen. She's absolutely decided to break them up..and it's starting to work. She keeps saying to dad that he has to choose , blah blah, which is really stoopid I have to say. Why should he have to choose? It's not like stepmom is actually hurting sis or me so that he has to choose. Sis just doesn't like her. For no reason.
It's not fueled by our mom - she's in a good relationship, and they're all friends. Dad,stepdad,mom and stepmom..they're all on great terms and even go out together sometimes. I know it may seem weird to most of you,but thats just how it is lol
Sis just hates stepmom and it hurts her, I think..It'd hurt me if I did much for someone adn then they hated me and wanted me gone, too.
And I think that dad is actually considering leaaving stepmom because sister won't even talk to him anymore. When I want to go see dad during the day, mom and stepdad offer to take us there if dad can't pick me up, but sister demands that we stay there..so I end up going alone. It's hard to get her to go to dad's when we SHOULD..let alone to do something other than the regular stuff.
I really have no idea what to do.. I don't want dad and stepmom to break up because she's nice and I don't want her gone. i know dad doesn't want that either.
What can I do? i tried talking to sis but there's no way she'll listen.
If she wanted to get counseling I'd go with her even though I don't really need it.....but she won't do that.
And I have NO idea why does she hate stepmom. Dad is not paying us any less attention or giving us less things ... basically nothing changed for US since she's here. But sis hates her. She demands no changes of parenting from our dad which I especially appreciate. I know she raised her daughter differently and I like that she doesn't meddle with his parenting.
So yeah. She's pretty good.
What can I do?