I think it's okay to reach out to them, especially if you had a good relationship during your marriage to exDH. My MIL has a wonderful relationship with her SS who is now in his mid 40's. He goes to her house for every holiday, and during the whole hurricane Sandy ordeal, helped her with so much. It's hard to find good people that you can care about and they can care about you, don't let titles or your relationship with your ex lose these people you have a good relationship with.

Send the presents with a nice note. If they respond, fine, if not, please don't let it hurt your feelings. Maybe they'll reach out later, maybe not. Please take care of yourself. I can't help but think that maybe it would be better to put the whole bunch of them behind you and move forward to a new start. There is nothing but pain and betrayal surrounding that family.

It reminds me of a true story: I once a Boss ( a little man with a big ego) that cheated on his first wife (he had 3 kids with the first wife) with a married woman (cocktail waitress at the country club) who had 2 crappy adult kids. He divorced first wife and married this now divorced woman with the 2 crappy kids, who was then his second wife. Second wife is a real bossy and greedy person. They couldn't get along and years later divorced. He then married his third wife (a lovely woman w/no kids). The ex-second wife (the one who broke up his and her own first marriages) was shocked when he married third wife, as she thought he would never get over her (she has a big ego too). Ex-second wife did everything she could to break them up and years later she did. Boss and third wife were divorced. Boss then remarried ex-second wife, who became wife #4. With her 2 crappy adult kids. Boss's kids hate wife #2/#4 and like ex-wife #3, who had nothing to do with Boss's divorce from their Mother (ex-wife #1) and was also treated shabbily by Boss.

So now ex-wife #1 and ex-wife #3 get along great, they spend Holidays together and since ex-wife #3 had no kids, Boss's kids treat her like a Mom/Grandmother to Bosses/Ex-wife #1's Grandkids.

Ex-Wife #1, Ex-Wife #3 and his kids are all united in their hatred of wife #2/4. And her crappy kids. Boss doesn't care, he expects everyone to get along. Boss is a total insensitive jerk and lacks integrity.

Whew! What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. And how much pain these dirtbags cause because they have such poor characters.

I hope you'll fight to get what you deserve in your divorce, put this behind you, move forward and know that the best revenge is to lead a long and happy life without the dirty dog who mistreated you (and his first wife). If his kids don't already know, they'll find out sooner or later.

I hope you'll fight to get what you deserve in your divorce, put this behind you, move forward and know that the best revenge is to lead a long and happy life

^^^^^ THIS.

I say definitely send the card and gifts. In the card I would leave my phone number AND email address. I personally am NOT a phone person and would reach out via written words easier.

I would also say something in the card along the lines of Merry Christmas, been thinkng about you. Hope all is well. Would love to hear from you some time to catch up.
I would even include something significant that has happened in their life lately. (if something has) Like the divorce for the one. Say that you are sorry for the hardship she is going through right now. Or if someone got a new job, or one of their kids did something, etc..... writing something personal shows that you are interested and really have been thinking about them. IMO

Send the cards and gifts and your contact information. Don't push, they will probably come to you. As for him, take him for everything!!!