He just doesn't listen!
I told him what I want for my baby's bith and first week, I told him WHY I want it. Perfectly justified reasons.
He still wants to bring SDs over for the first week. He said that it's their week, and they will be there. I asked can't they just come for a day, and then stay the whole time after some time passes, but no. He says that the oldest SD was there when the younger two were born and middle SD was there when the youngest was born... So he thinks there's no problem with them being here when my baby is born. But they did not think of their mother as they think of me, and believe me it's not nice things they think. They are not good to me, and they treat their mother as a saint, that's the difference. They stress me out and actually often hurt me with their comments and remarks, they did not ever do that to their mother. That's very different. They're terrible to me and I do not want them there at least for one week. Just one week. I know I will be happy about having my baby, but I will also be tired, stressed, moody, possibly even in pain - and I'm ready and prepared for that. But I'm not ready to have the SDs over during that time. I just don't want that. Can't I get one wish fulfilled? I don't ask for too much, just a WEEK with my newborn. I want to bond, I want the time with my baby, I want the time with my husband WHICH I WILL NOT HAVE IF THEY'R EHERE, AND NEITHER WILL MY BABY! I will only have stress if they're around. I always do. But I can handle it usually. But not the first week after giving birth.
I can't believe my husband is so insensitive and doesn't even bother to try to understand me. I may be wrong with this, but I am hurt and feel kinda betrayed. I need his support but I am not getting it. 
I am just so happy that my mother is coming, because if I was alone with them I have no idea what would I do, I'd go crazy.
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I'm so sorry you're going
I'm so sorry you're going through that. I remember the first week with my daughter. I was a wreck and so emotional and scared. And all she did was scream and cry, no matter what I did. I felt like such a failure. Had I had SD to deal with at the point too - I probably would've literally gone insane.
You're stuck in a hard place because you want the support of your husband with your new baby (and his new baby) but you don't want his kids there to complicate things and stress you out. He's not being as understanding as he should be, nor is he willing to compromise. That's not a good sign for your marriage. Marriage is about compromise and if he can't see that you NEED that time alone to bond with baby without the stressful SDs around - I don't see him willing to compromise on other things either.
Any way you could sit him down and maybe have another conversation closer to your due date? Explain to him that you understand he wants his daughters there, but this is a very important bonding time and that should be spent with you, him and your newborn? Ask him if he'd be willing to pick the SDs up a few days later after you've had a few days to be alone with baby. Tell him compromising on this will make you super happy and take a lot of unneeded stress off of you. If he's still unwilling at that point, I'd be packing my mother and my baby up and going to a hotel so HE can have his precious time with HIS kids, I'll be doing the same without him...
I wish you luck. I'm sorry you're in this tough spot when it should be the happiest time of your life!
Who made your OH king?! Quite
Who made your OH king?!
Quite honestly, I think you may regret not putting your foot down over this and telling your OH how it will be. He is not the one giving birth and while it is important for the siblings to bond, they can wait, its NOT the end of the world.
Personally I would be telling him "push me on this and I will leave and go stay with my mother. You cannot have everything your way and right now this is not about you and your children, this about me and our newborn."
Seriously, do not ask. Its time to TELL him and do it firmly.
See, this is what *I* would
See, this is what *I* would do, but I was trying to be gentle and nice so I suggested she ask him to compromise.
^^THIS^^ Your DH is being an
^^THIS^^ Your DH is being an unreasonable jerk. You are not asking for too much and he should oblige you on this, not just for you, but for HIS new child as well, damn, you would think he would want to have that time as well. Sorry!!
Exactly what the previous
Exactly what the previous posters said. You cannot force him to leave the skids at BM's place.
You can only choose what YOU are going to do. And that is that you will take the baby and go stay at (a friend's, your parent's, a hotel, ANYWHERE) until the skids leave again.
DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO BULLY YOU OR HE ALWAYS WILL.
There is a youtube video that
There is a youtube video that has two guys who have electrodes on them to simulate the pain of child birth. Maybe your "D"H needs to watch that video - like 100 times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A44oEcmDn1c
Tell him that you are buying that machine and hooking it up to him for however long your labor last and see how HE wants to have hostile visitors in his house for a week after!
I picked this out of the
I picked this out of the original post because in a "normal" household (i.e. intact family), your point is well made, but that's not the case here: "But they did not think of their mother as they think of me, and believe me it's not nice things they think. They are not good to me, and they treat their mother as a saint, that's the difference. They stress me out and actually often hurt me with their comments and remarks, they did not ever do that to their mother. That's very different. They're terrible to me and I do not want them there at least for one week. Just one week".
I think the OP is well within her rights to want to bring her newborn home to a peaceful place, not one in which she has other children running around that don't like her and will stress her out.
I remember coming home to my place with my husband and our daughter and just us alone was stressful enough on a new mom. It's scary for the first time. At least it was for me anyway. Had the situation been with my new DH and having stepdevil14 there - I'd have lost my shit.
I think a compromise is best in this situation. Maybe the first couple of days or so, it can be just them and then he picks his kids up later for a shortened visitation? What would be wrong with that?
GREAT GREAT IDEA!!!!! DO
GREAT GREAT IDEA!!!!! DO THIS!! Please!
I do know people who send
I do know people who send their older children to grandma's house for the first few days when they and their newborn come home. that doesn't seem unreasonable to me. I would try to point out to your DH that if the skids are there HE won't be able to bond with the baby because HE will be busy taking care of his other children. That your mom will probably bond more with the baby than him. (make sure your mom doesn't get stuck with taking care of skids needs either, she is there for you and her new grandchild).
For your sake, I hope you
For your sake, I hope you have in-laws/DHs friends who can help you out and take the kids for a few days to help out. And I say that because if it is legally DH's parenting time, BM is well within her rights to refuse to take the kids. It is DH's time with them so he needs to figure out what he will do when you have your baby. So DH needs to start contacting his friends/relatives and asking them to take the kids for a few days. And if they live out of state, asking them if they'd be willing to take the kids somewhere for a few days so they can have quality time with them.
I remember when I was
I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest, my MIL "announced" that she and FIL would come spend *AT LEAST* two weeks so she could take care of the baby (not help out, but she was laying claim on this child... seriously).
I stressed out and my first DH didn't want to rock the boat by telling them NO.
Regardless of who lives in the house, and who doesn't, coming home with a baby is a VERY stressful time for many. This was my first; I was 30 years old and had not so much as babysat in my life. I planned on breastfeeding which was extremely difficult for the first few days. The LAST thing I needed was my MIL (and FIL!!!) sitting there watching me struggle with everything. Not to mention the fact I was never terribly fond of either of them.
So with that being said, I see where the OP is coming from. Worrying about a new baby, then on top of that wondering when the next wave of hate is going to come rolling in, how much more work it's going to create, etc etc certainly is an important issue to discuss and get out of the way.
If DH is unwilling, one of you need to go away (preferably him) while the SK's are around.
Honey, you don't need this
Honey, you don't need this stress right now... Go stay at mom's instead
Not sure how old the cretins
Not sure how old the cretins are but if they do end up being around you do not have to do one thing to curtail spewing whatever you want out your mouth. Be sure your DH knows that.
As a new mom you will have hormones having fist fights in your body - tell DH that you will not be responsible for anything you might say to his spawn. Make him sweat. Even if you would never so much as say damn in front of them - let him think you will just be on the edge of going Exorcist on his brats if they even breathe in your vicinity.
And if they are in the house you can totally ban them from coming NEAR you. Does he think you are going to be babysitting and making meals? probably.