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If BM knew how you REALLY felt about her kids...

wickedstepqueen's picture

Submitted by wickedstepqueen on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:16pm

Would she let them come over?

Mine does know that I dont like her kids. And yet she wants her kids to come over here more.

If I knew that some chic didnt like my kids, there is no way that I would subject them to forced visitation.

And its not like their father is spending any quality time with them. He literally sleeps at least half the time they are here.

Ugh.. hopefully as they get older they will want to stop coming here.

Comments

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:19pm

I think she'd crap herself...

She honestly thinks I WANT SD...She thinks I'm trying to be SD's mother, so she would always send messages for SD to tell me, "You're not my mom...You're JUST my step-mother"...

If she knew that I wasn't EVER trying to be the skid's mother she'd die...That's all she has...

JRTerrierMom's picture

Submitted by JRTerrierMom on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:20pm

Why on earth did you start dating a man with children? Much less move in with him???

wickedstepqueen's picture

Submitted by wickedstepqueen on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:29pm

When I started dating him he never had them. He would send them to a babysitter everytime that he had them.

When I first came into the picture BM hated me so much that she wouldnt let him the kids. Then when she saw that he really didnt care and that we were having fun going out - then she would demand that we take the kids.

Then he just stopped seeing them for a while. I didnt ask why as I really didnt care to see them.

I fell in love with him - in spite of the fact that he has kids.

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:36pm

Umm...

I for damn sure wouldn't date a dude that took that perspective with his kids...HELL NO...Rule #1 with me dating a man with kids was to check out his relationship with his kid(s) and the BM...If he wasn't an involved father, I was gone...quickly...I don't care how I felt about him...

That's a hot mess...

wickedstepqueen's picture

Submitted by wickedstepqueen on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:35pm

I think that you are correct. She wants her "free time". They are fairly high maintenance. They bitch and moan about everything and want a snack every five minutes. I will intentionally turn on adult programming (CSI, NCIS, Law and Order, sports) so that they wont sit and watch tv near me.

If I knew that girlfriend didnt like my kids there is no way that I would want them around her.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:26pm

I think she'd be relieved and be ok with them coming over still. She's more worried that I try to take over and that they like me more.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:28pm

I disengaged a loooooooooooong time ago, so I'm indifferent at best with DH's kid. I don't even refer to or introduce her as my SD but as DH's kid. That being said.....

Uberskank would love to know how I feel just so her free babysitter would be at home and not with us.

Whateva's picture

Submitted by Whateva on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:32pm

Actually sadly I think if she did know she would still send them over, because she want her cake and eat it too...meaning she like collecting a shit load of child support but she also want the luxury of her time away from her kids- which is normal I guess...but if i knew my kids still wet the bed and had poor hygiene habits I would be embarrassed to send them to another woman's home especially when there was a chance that she was not that keen on them.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 4:33pm

Unfortunately for me, by the time BM knew how I felt about SD, she had no say if SD came to our house or not.

Drat.

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 5:35pm

Bm actually warned me that SD was very difficult and would take out most of her frustration and anger on my daughter. She was right.
We never talked about my exact feelings, but her being a SM as well, I think she'd understand the mix of it all and appreciate what I have done. Yes, I think she'd still be ok, even if she knew all my feelings.

SisterNeko's picture

Submitted by SisterNeko on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 5:50pm

You know BF and I talked about this the other day. I don't like HER kids and I don't want to me THEIR mother. Which is fine because she drives it in their heads that I am not and never will be, but I think she thinks I want to be or try to be. If they were my kids I would beat the regularly until their attitudes improved. Smile (that is a figure of speak of course I wouldn't really hit them but there would be punishment - groundings and things taken away)

If she knew the truth I have reason to believe that she would flip out and be like "What is wrong with my kids, they are prefect, who wouldn't want to me their mother." and then force me to spend MORE time with them... because that is what a crazy person would do.

So I let he think what she wants for now - it works for me.

Redsonya's picture

Submitted by Redsonya on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:38pm

BM knows I love SD and SS (even though he acts really badly for her). I don't love her nephew who she sends over for visitation with the others, and she knows it. Almost no one can stand him because he has MAJOR issues from her side of the family who are insane white trash - drugs, serious mental illness, filthy houses, restraining orders, the whole nine yards. BM pretends she cares and says if we don't want to have him over, she will keep him home where he is wanted. Of course she never does because that would cut in on her drinking, dancing, skanky time with her friends (one of which she had a threesome with recently and isn't quiet about). So much fun!

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 6:44pm

I am pretty sure bm is aware that I do not care for ss13. She used to feel very threatened acted as if I were trying to steal him when he was younger-but since I've disengaged I think she understands that I'm not real interested. However, she wants the kid to live with us-even knowing I dont much like him and he does not like me or my kids-because she doesnt want him either.

Strangely, about 3 or 4 years back when ss was at the height of making up stories about me-she told my dh that she felt she had to protect ss from me as I was "abusive"-(I think she meant more emotional based on what ss as telling her)-but then a couple months later she called ME (dh was deployed to Iraq) and asked me if I wanted to keep him for a week for Spring Break. Hmmm, You think I'm abusive but you are asking me to keep him for a week? Um, no thanks.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 10/06/2011 - 11:38pm

Hmmm...she'd want her to come over more... lol Actually, when I did like her and we got along, she was constantly having DH skip his weekend...now, once I she realized I wasn't going anywhere and my relationship because of HER, with her kid went downhill, then she ALWAYS wanted her to come over...sigh

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 3:17am

I am pretty sure BM knows I don't care for her daughters. She is such a hypocrite because she is supposedly "best friends forever" with them and is always going to pop festivals and such like pretending she is still a teenager, but because the girls both hate her so-called fiance, she would love them to come and live with us so he can move back in with her again. She tried to force SD16 to come and live with us a couple of months ago, but it backfired on her because DH wasn't having it. I would NEVER want my daughter to go and live with a woman who doesn't care for her, no matter what my own love life was like as a result. She is absolutely barking.

truebloodfreak's picture

Submitted by truebloodfreak on Fri, 10/07/2011 - 10:24am

BM thinks I care deeply for her kids. I love them because they are.kids and I feel sorry for them to an extent. I really can't imagine your own mother not seeing you all year.long . I dont want the resposiblity of raising someones else kid especially when shes perfectly capable of being a parent. I dont want to be their mom at all!!!!! But because she is a parent for a couple weeks a year if that i get stuck with all respnsibility.... -- thats why i have disengaged a lot starting when i was pregnant.She honestly probably doesn't care what happens to them or who takes care of them. As long as she doesnt have to. before me SO was with another woman for 5 years and SS14 would tell his mom that he didn't like SOs ex at all. They never got along, and SO ex was doing a lot of the work raising them because of SOs job schedule. Younger SS9 would call the ex mom because BM told me she never like the ex but she still let her kids live with SO full time, only stopping by for a couple at a times a year to be a parent when it convenient. That was when she lived in our state. BM has sinced moved to Florida, California and has had 2 other kids with another man. It more than obvious she doesn't care at all.