Dishes in sink...what should I do?
DH is away on business. I cooked for the past 3 nights. I have a monthly dinner with a group of girlfriends and I have missed it for about 5 months. Tonight was that night. I asked if he minded that I go. He said sure, the kids (SS19, SD17, and SD15) can fend for themselves for tonight.
When I left, I realized there were no forks or knives, so, I ran the dishwasher.
I left a note saying that the dishes were clean, our cleaning crew is coming tomorrow, and have a good night.
When I came home, there were tons of dishes in the sink and the dishwasher has not been emptied.
They do this all of the time. (not SS19, the girls). They leave dishes in the sink for their father to clean up. He does if they are not around or sleeping (which is often). I refuse to. He knows how I feel about this.
One of my coworkers told me that when her biokids leave dirty dishes around and in the sink, she puts it in their beds. It does not last long, they clean up after themselves.Is this over the top?
I told SD15 that if they are not cleaned up, I will put them in her bed tomorrow OR donate the food (mac & cheese - the powdered stuff to the local food bank. She told me to get out of her room and that she lived here first (yes, but I pay half the bills and contribute to the upkeep of the house).
I always say that the most difficult thing of being a step parent is seeing how awful they treat their Father, my DH.
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Comments
Thanks for the comments. I
Thanks for the comments. I like the door thing. The only thing is that her room is right at the top of the stairs, atrocious (writing on the walls, etc), and I would have to look at that every day! Ugh!
They go to see a therapist in a few weeks....I can't wait to get some insight!
I think I may just do the food bank thing....chances are she will not go to school tomorrow because DH is away. All of the Mac & Cheese, Oodles of noodles etc, given to people that will truly appreciate it.
I went shopping to solve this
I went shopping to solve this problem in my house! I bought a special set of dishes for me and my BS 8. I bought a large laundry basket. The rule is, when we all eat together, we all clean up together. After kitchen is all clean, we run dishwasher, and I am more than happy to empty and put away the dishes when it has completed its cycle.
however, if a skid or my DH makes a mess in the kitchen or dirties any dishes while the dishwasher is running, they have to wash and dry the dishes by hand and put them away. That's the rule...
Yet, I still wake up each morning to messy counters, and a sink full of dirty dishes. Sadly, DH is the worst. Anyway, I simply scrape everything off the counter and into the laundry basket and take the stuff out of the sink and put it in the basket, and set it in the kitchen hallway. I have to do that in order to be able to use the sink, and not get icky, smelly water sitting there...
I empty dishwasher and put away clean items. I get out the special "secret" dishes for Gibby and I to have breakfast before school. I wash and put those away, and we leave.
Eventually after 2-3 days, there comes a point when the basket smells or there are no more clean dishes, and DH yells at ss15 and ss16 to take care of the basket. They usually run a load of dishes on Saturday mornings, and anything that wont fit, he makes them wash them by hand...
Sadly, this has gone on for nearly 2 years. You'd think by now they'd just wash the damn dishes, but it works for us, and it no longer makes me angry, so whatever...
BTW- Taking the door of the hinges doesn't really fit this offense... The door of the hinges would be reserved for seperate issues, such as constantly slamming the door, or if you and DH feel the child is being untrustworthy behind the door... I speak from experience. Before SD18 went to college, she spent about 2 months without a door since she kept slamming it all the time, and then keepign the door locked ALL the time. The first step was that we removed the door knob. Then she started moving the dresser infront of the door to keep us out. Boy that was a fun weekend when she came home from her mother's and saw DH had removed her door! SMILE WICKEDLY