let me give a little background. DH has been giving BM $60 a wk. for his DD10 and half of the monthly cost for the after school program and buys her ALL of her clothes, sneakers, school uniforms, school supplies (i mean ALL the school supplies),costumes and accesories. he bought her a laptop for her bday which her mom decided that she will pay half of so that she could claim it as hers also but never gave him the other half. his DD has a psp, wii, guitar hero, the ds lite, games and other toys that she may have wanted while visiting. he bought her a tv a while ago and a dvd player. he takes her to the Dr. (has her on his ins. also). he takes her to swim class which he paid for. picks her up whenever BM can't and will pay half of child care in summer if she goes to sitter. i don't know about most but that to me sounds like an awesome father. he doesn't fight BM when she decides that "this weekend" he's not going to see her because they have stuff to do. he's not perfect in givin her the full amount all the time but he definitely trys even though no matter what he does she will still have him a looser and insult him even infront of his daughter. one time she needed something and he told her he couldn't do it can she please buy and and he will give her the money back and she said "i don't have to buy her sh*t! and well that's how it always goes. she never buys her anything and complains that she has no money. but will go every week to the mall to buy new shoes and will take her DD and tell her don't ask me for nothing! can you imagine!

soooooo recently we have been having problems with our apartment...leaks and now mold in the bathroom and hardly any heat so we have decided we will have to move. we have 2 kids together and my bs11.
so he said to BM "listen i don't have to tell you but i'm going to tell you anyways that the reason why i haven't given you any money lately is because we have to move.....
BM was being as sarcastic as usual and said yeah uh huh to bigger and better things i'm sure. (like it matters)
i've told him so many times that he should go to CS himself and not have to deal with her again. i don't care how much they take out....we could work around it and budget accordingly. in reality he spends more by giving her the money and buying EVERYTHING for his daughter and yet he's still a looser.
so i was sooooo excited when she let him know that she finally went and filed. he said to her "just remember that that's ALL you are getting now. don't ask me for nothing else". i don't know how much she thinks she is going to get but i would rather had stayed with the original arrangement. i feel sorry for SD10 because now her mother will use the money for herself and eventually convince him to buy her other things. and he will because he loves his baby and will do anything for her no matter what he says.

**i took my son's BF to court after 8yrs. of him not getting him anything. he would buy him snacks once a week and not give me not 1 dollar. i took him because i was unemployed and not even then did he care to help. i ended up having to pay 52% of my son's CS because i was making, in my previous job, a little bit more than BF...i'd say i got screwed big time. they didn't care that i wasn't working they said that i have the ability to earn and that's what they were going by. oh well either way i get more than what he ever gave me.

i've tried to pretty much coach him on what to expect when he gets there. we are in NJ does anyone else have any good advice on what he should do. we know she will play the victim but i know that in the end they only want the figures and that's all that matters. he said that he will try to get joint custody too. wish us luck and any advice is welcomed and appreciated.

YB