I think there should be a law
setting a 'deadline' as to when a bm can file cs on a bfather. I've heard of many stories where a guy didn't know he got a girl pregnant and YEARS later she files for cs and the guy has to pay back pay on top of cs and whatever else the state requires- health insurance, daycare, etc. I know the guy isn't innocent as he probably didn't use a condom or chose to have sex in the first place. BUT when years go by and he guy lives his life and never knows about he pregnancy, let alone a child then gets hit with it- seems unfair. I think that a bm should have up to 1-2(?) years max to decide to fils cs or not. After that she loses her rights to cs, unless of course the bf agrees to it. We have a friend that recently found out he has a TEN year old son!!! He never even knew he got the bm pregnant! They broke up and went on with their lives. Now he is just finding out about the child and is having to pay cs and everything to a kid he's never met! Just isn't fair in my eyes.
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Now, whey in the world would
Now, whey in the world would be do that? That makes too much sense. :jawdrop:
I agree. Like you said, I
I agree. Like you said, I know the guys involved aren't flawless either but I think it is unfair to pin back CS on a guy who didn't know he had a child out there. If a guy finds out he has a child with his ex from 10 years ago and wants to start paying what he can voluntarily, that is great. But back CS should not be pinned on him.
In my state the only retro
In my state the only retro child support that can be recovered is from the date of filing the petition for child support. I think that is fair. However, what these women need to understand is that for 10 years they have not allowed their children a relationship with their father. I would think it would be pretty traumatic for the kid. I don't think money is worth that.
I agree. I think some bm's
I agree. I think some bm's think the dads won't bother with having a relationship with the kid and will be fine paying cs. Then they are surprised when the dad wants to know their child and so the bm begins with pas. "well, he doesn't know you so he is scared to visit..." or whatever. I just wonde if ourfriend will ever get to see his kid.
"Well I do not know him
"Well I do not know him either and I am scared to make CS payments until I know him."
Put the CS money in an account and if BM calls the AG or CPE office over night the CS money then file kidnapping charges against BM.
IMHO there is no advantage to responding reasonably to an unreasonable action by the blended family opposition. Responding reasonably to an unreasonable idiot just rewards the idiot. I would rather bare the idiots ass and keep the pressure on the idiot for as long as possible.
Just my thoughts of course.
unfortunately Rags, the
unfortunately Rags, the kidnapping charge against the BM wouldn't work. Custody defaulted to her immediately at the time of the birth. This is truly a domestic action. I woner though if he could file a civil action against her for monetary damages for all of the years she "deprived him of knowing his child." I think that might be something worth looking at. Almost like a consortium claim.
The AG doesn't give a flyin
The AG doesn't give a flyin flip about anything but their percentage of success, blah blah blah. It isn't about helping people provide good care for the skids, it's about bureocratic bullshit.
The criteria on the texas AG support list:
Responsibilities of the Parent:
Complete documents
Appear in court
Provide support for your child
Notify the Office of the Attorney General of address and phone changes
Nowhere on this list does it say BM has to send the kids to school, quit badmouthing DH, quit kicking ss out of the house, and to teach him good morals instead of telling him it is okay to smoke pot.
BM filed for more money...800 wasn't enough for 1 child for her skank ass, so the AG drug their feet for 14 months, then made the support retro. It added $10,400 to make us have arrears WHEN WE HAVE BEEN PAYING THAT BITCH ALL ALONG. Now we are in futher debt to that BITCH.
IT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT BECAUSE WE DON'T END UP WITH A SKID THAT GRADUATES FROM HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE BM CUNT IS A FRIKIN MORON!!!!!!!!!! If it was getting to the child in some form it would be great, but she pays her 550 rent and tries to live off child support. instead of getting a real job and being a real parent, she slithers around the house smoking doobies all day.
I hate you BM, and I hope you choke on your dildo tonight or just die spontaneously before tomorrow.
You have to love THIS:
In the "up the child support" documents, she included a clause:
1. child support will cease and no longer be payable if the couple chooses to get back together.
2. child support obligation does not terminate upon ncp's death, but shall be paid by his estate.
WTF EVER!!!!!!!! SEE Y I HATE THIS CUNT?
I would take this a whole lot
I would take this a whole lot further. Not only should a guy subjected to a "surprise" child after several years not have to pay CS he should automatically get custody and BM should be criminally liable for kidnapping the guys kid, subject to punitive financial awards for emotional pain and suffering for denying both BioDad and the kid a relationship and have to pay CS until the kid is 25 or out or college.
If a guy is subject to a CS obligation for a child he knows about then a BM should be liable both civilly and criminally for keeping a child away from the BioDad and keeping the kid a secret then trying to screw BioDad later.
IMHO of course.
i am in a very similar
i am in a very similar situation as original post. all i can say is its a hot mess in my case the child is 13 so for 13years a father daughter relationship was need but right now it is....
yes, a statute of
yes, a statute of limitations! Rape has one! (not trying to be funny)
And to top it off this
And to top it off this mystery kid had been raised by a sd. He believed his sd was his dad and sd family treated him as such....until sd and bm got in a fight. Sd father apparently opened his mouth and I guess since bridges were burnt there, the bm decided to go after our friend for cs. She started by telling our friend she didn't want cs...um, ok then why call after ten years just to tell him he has a kid that someone else has been raising as his own. Supposedly the bm and our friend agreed on him 'signing his rights'. The AG office set a court date and of course she changed her mind...imagine that!
I agree and not...I think
I agree and not...I think collecting back CS should be illegal period if the dad was not notified of the pregnancy. I don't think there's a statue of limitations to start support from that point on-with the mom paying for counseling sessions for the child who is thrown a new father figure after so many years. Perhaps pay for BOTH of them-dad and child for throwing their lives into upheavel out of financial convenience.
A guy I dated for a while had this happen to him. His son was 5 when the mom told him about it...and wanted back CS. The lawyer got the back CS dismissed but it applied from that point forward. It took them a couple years or more before they were able to build a relationship a bit more and now they have a strong bond...but that was despicable IMO-i saw him suffer greatly about that.
So you think a bm should have
So you think a bm should have however long she wants to decide before she files for cs? I've even heard of bm's filing after 17 years- just in time for cs to cover college. How is that fair? But I agree about counseling. There was a post about divorce and counseling earlier and I wish every family going thru a divorce would be required to have a few counseling sessions, as well as cases like this. How long did it take your dh and skid to get adapted? How long has it been?
IN a way, yes...but no back
IN a way, yes...but no back support. And it would only be till 18 IMO or till they finish high school.
It's not fair but it's better then trying to go for back support for a kid they didn't know existed.
I don't see the need for more laws-I think many do more damage then good.
It wasn't my dh and skid that it happened to-I'm not married I have a bf and his D..
This was a past bf-about 6 years ago. It took them a couple years for it to start getting smoother. It was a difficult transition time. BUT the kid was 4-5 also and not much older. I would think an older child it might be more difficult.