SS8 hates school... He was diagnosed as ODD/ADD in kindergarten and it has been a struggle. He lives with me and DH most of the year with BM getting lots of visitation. When he's there it's an overload of gifts etc.
teachers have noted he is difficult to work with after a visit with his mom, and he is very spoiled. His mom has admitted that she gives him too much, which should be obvious to her since his first words to her are almost always about her using him something...
I know that the grass is greener for him 100% and that when he is older he will want to live with her, which terrifies me, not only because of the potential impact financially (she is a SAHM now after remarrying and got her CS reduced to $53/month saying it as a hardship... Diet her hubby making $1.5mil/year so unless the court takes our situation into account and compares the two houses in their totality than we are screwed) but also because we see the effort she puts in now and suspect if she had him more it would be less. She hasn't come to a parent teacher meeting in two years, doesn't come to most of his after school stuff, rarely does homework with him, goes on date nights or vacations during what time she does get with him ...
I worry that we'd cause him to rebel if we said no, but also that the damage would be way worse long term if he went ...
As much as I get frustrated with SS I don't want him to be screwed up because we made the wrong choices for hm