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just curious, does anyone LOVE their stepkids?

trying1313's picture

Submitted by trying1313 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 2:57pm

I have been reading people's posts here, and i see lots of 'hate', 'can't stand', 'tolerate', etc feelings toward the step kids. Now, i am aware that people come here to share their frustrations, so we get to read their thoughts when they are at their wit's end, and on their good days they are probably having fun living life, rather than blogging here. I get that. But, still, i want to ask a question: do any of you LOVE your stepchildren? May be those that do can share with me how long it took them to love them, or how that process evolved.
thank you!

Comments

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:03pm

I have days when I love them and days when I don't. The love is not unconditional. There are many things that I love about my SS20 and many things that I don't. Same goes for my SD12. They've been in my life for 12 years so time has certainly helped the bond grow. They are also just people. And like most people, they have their good qualities and their bad ones. They are my DHs offspring. I love my DH and therefore I have a certain level of love for his kids. Hope that answers your question.

Nana2's picture

Submitted by Nana2 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:39pm

My older stepson I love to death. But I came into his life after he was grown, married and had kids of his own. So we get along just fine. My youngest SD I can't stand. I tolerate her only. I'm anxious for her to be gone! Maybe once she grows up and becomes respectful I'll love her but for now. Nope!!!! And I'm not afraid to say so! I use to love the girl, but she has become so rude and disrespectful it's incredible. I know most of it comes because of age (she's 18) but my kids weren't like that when they were her age. Go figure!

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:41pm

>>>I am not certain I have ever been able to force myself to feel love for anyone. If it were me, I would focus on my marriage...then let the other cards fall where they may.<<<

Yes, this.

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

Submitted by RainbowsAndDaisies on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:34pm

Yes

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 3:47pm

No, no love here. Maybe if she wasn't such a manipulative brat. You cannot force someone to love another human being just because they are now somewhat "related" to you. I do love my ex stepdaughter though. We are very close and she was/is always very sweet to me!!

ecgirl's picture

Submitted by ecgirl on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 4:50pm

I love all three of my skids. The two oldest (SD7 and SD9) drive me batshit crazy sometimes because they are in that back talking, foot stomping, can't listen to shit stage.... I was like that my entire teenage life, so I get it. lol But I still love them, I was lucky and it was this way from the beginning, well, after they warmed up to me of course, I got that they weren't just going to meet me and love me, but they were always nice and respectful even in the begining. You can't help but love my SS5, he is handicapped/terminally ill and just steals everyones heart, when he could talk he was such a flirt. Smile

kitty1470's picture

Submitted by kitty1470 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 7:48pm

I do not love my stepkids nor do I hate them. I have about as much feelings towards them as I do any random kid in Walmart. I've been with my SO for almost 3 years and theres no feelings for the stepkids at all. I don't miss them when they aren't around and I don't get excited to see them either. I guess it doesn't help that I don't have any maternal feelings period towards kids, nor have I ever wanted kids of my own. The idea of parenting is not appealing to me at all. So no I don't think I will ever love them.

Doesnteatcrow's picture

Submitted by Doesnteatcrow on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 9:15pm

I would put ss10 on my back carry him through a burning building and back again if that is what he wanted to do. He isn't just my stepson , he is my friend.

bt-sped-gf's picture

Submitted by bt-sped-gf on Mon, 10/01/2012 - 8:11pm

I love my 3SDs . SS, I don't even like. Seriously, 2 kids...ever...that I have NOT liked and he's one of them....