Update on DH's...attempt
First off, you all are the sweetest, and I truly mean that. Thank you for all of the kind words and thoughts. I really was just sad and everything felt so surreal. I still feel just emotionally exhausted, but at least things are marginally better now.
DH is doing much better. He was physically sick from the pills he took, but he is mostly better now. He is really embarrassed that he took pills. He says he feels completely different than he did that night, and it was like he had gotten to a place of feeling so sorry for himself and making everything out to be worse than it was. Feeling mad about everything and twisting things into problems that weren't problems. When I got his goodbye email and ran downstairs to see him I started crying and asked him what he did and said "you were just going to leave me alone??". He said that broke his heart and he can't believe he even thought of doing this. He said he was relieved when his alarm went off that morning and he knew it hadn't worked. He would 100% never do it again. I do believe him, but it's hard not to be leery. He is going to contact his Dr. to get prescribed anti-depressants.
He wants me to go to CO and I am still going, although it took a while to make that decision and a lot of talking about it. In the end I need a break from these f'ng kids and the stress they are causing for my own mental health. SD is coming on Mon. and even DH said I shouldn't be here for that, he anticipates it being a mess.
So now when I get back, it will be August 7th, and SS leaves for college across the country the next day, with DH taking him. I am thrilled. I hope like HELL that will relieve some of the stress with 1 kid out of the house, although SS is so lazy that even though he has been told 1 million times what is expected of him and that he needs to have a job and it's not a free-for-all where he can spend money, SS has never shown he is capable of doing that, so I don't anticipate that changing now. Also, SS was supposed to have the car he insisted on getting paid off by the end of summer, and was told that no less than 30x, but he does NOT have it paid off because he was too lazy to work and blew all his $, so now DH will most likely have to make his car payments for a few months since he co-signed the loan and won't want it to affect his credit. Plus SS is incapable of doing anything on his own without texting DH a million times, so I anticipate no less stress than before.
I know a lot of you have kids, but I truly cannot understand why anyone would have children. DH gets no joy from them, they are just emotional vampires.
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Thank you so much for the update, I'm glad things are a little
Thank you so much for the update, I'm glad things are a little better. Your DH needs more than meds, he needs talk therapy. It is pretty standard to ask someone who has suicidal ideation to promise not to anything without contacting you first. The idea is to get them to reach out before they do anything final. Please have that conversation with him.
You are timing your trip well, we in Colorado have been covered in smoke for the last several days, but it is supposed to clear by tomorrow. It will continue to be hot, though. I hope your trip provides you some well needed respite.
Thank you!
I tend to agree that DH could benefit from some therapy, but DH is about as stubborn as they come and I fear that pushing on that would have the opposite effect, he would start resisting me on the things he has agreed on (antidepressants). Not ideal but it's something.
Hoping for none of that CO smoke but I'm ok with the heat! I used to live in CO so I'm excited to visit your state!
Glad To Hear From You
And happy things are on the upside somewhat. I agree with Notsure....he needs more than meds...he needs therapy. He needs to make some changes. That's done only with accountability....the therapist will take that role. And glad you are going to Colorado....YOU need to take care of YOU. Enjoy your time.....try not to think about home. Just focus on you, laughter and fun.
I'll chime in on the kid thing. I have two - both have given me a "run for my money" with the typical kid stuff but overall, they are good kids and would NEVER do the things I see SKs doing here, like your SK crew. Both work, own homes and are good citizens in their communities, gracious and giving. AND they treat their Stepparents with love and respect. Now......there are days I could kick myself in the arse for marrying someone with kids and I did see that they were "different" in the beginning. But I was just not aware of the toxic stepworld that I was stepping into. Maybe blame it on my "seeing the good in everyone" and the fact my former husband and I get along great, as I do with his wife, the kids' stepmom (wonderful lady) and even her kids. Yeah...I was a dummy. I guess what I'm saying is...not all kids are bad apples. Most of it is in the raising and expectations from their parents. My former husband and I held the bar high for our kids...education, social, character. When we introduced our new spouses (dating era), both kids were told, you may not like them but you WILL respect them in our homes. So.....today, everyone gets along. My son and DH are so close, people do not know DH isn't his bio father.
Anyway....have a wonderful time in CO. It's a beautiful state. We visit often (Montrose area) as we have family there. Enjoy those views and that clean air!! Sending you love through the airways.
Having kids can be a crap
Having kids can be a crap shoot. One of my best friends has 4 (2 of each). All were raised the same, but 2 are hell on wheels and the other 2 are hardworking and a joy to be around. *unknw*
Enjoy your CO trip.
Nothing is changing
DH NEEDS A FULL mental Health evaluation, BY someone with a MD after there name. Don't take the one time excuse from DH Or he's felling better. There is something radical wrong with him. He need long term help. Or that's up to the DR's the professionals.
suicide attempts are a cry for help. Make sure for your own health you help him .
There's just so much going on
There's just so much going on. I really feel for you. I hope some space in CO helps things. See some lovely scenery and try to unwind with friends or family. Hugs ❤️
Glad its better for you
Being childless not by choice...well thats a can of worms and yeah, I sometimes think similar, but ultimately feel regrets,
Your skids are horrible. SD25 feral forger is horrible. But not all kiddos are horrible messes.
Still Im super glad for this positive update and hope you enjoy your time off from things!
Thank you!
I do have some friends with fantastic kids. I can't imagine what it must be like to not have constant drama day in and day out. We wouldn't know about that life.
I am sorry that DH attempted
I am sorry that DH attempted a permanent solution to temporary problems.
Take care of you. You have to be the priority for yourself. DH is telling you what he thingks you want to hear. Guage him by his actions and do not be fooled by his words. Words in this case, and many others, do not matter.