Whether it's attention seeking or not, I agree 911 should be called if she threatens suicide again. Maybe that will be a catalyst for SD realizing this is not something to be taken lightly. 

I totally agree she is just so much and completely agree with your relief sentiment when she leaves 

I don't have much advice but back in the day, my therapist told me kids rebel against their strongest parent   I saw that with DH's kids.  I guess they knew BM just wasn't strong enough to handle it 

I admire your DH. He sounds empathetic and proactive.  Too bad a good guy is being put thru the wringer.

Just came to offer sympathy. My SO's daughters do the whole "I'm suicidal, I'm so mentally unstable" thing, then when the feeling has passed, everyone acts like it never happened. I can't be around that. Because if i do hear what sounds to be a serious suicide threat, i know that calling 911 is the best option. I also know that SO and his family would be angry if i did. So...if i'm not there to hear it, i can't be responsible. To add, i think suicide is a horrible and serious thing and i would not want to fail to act if someone were planning it. But, i also know that SO's daughters are in their mid-late 20s and neither has tried. I hate to say it's for attention and drama, then one of them actually does it. 3 of his 4 kids have done this. SS14 hasn't in years, though, and i think maybe he did it in elementary because he saw it work for his sisters. 

Time to nail BM's and SD's Harpy bond tail feathers to the floor.  Any time she even thinks about suicide, call 911. Every time.  Make sure to provide the 911 operator with a SNIP of her threats or a recording of her verbalizing the suicide topic. 

Have CPS, LEOs, Psych professionals, etc... so far up BM's and attention seeking SD's asses that they have zero life not under the hairy eyeball of every agency, professional, etc... available.   Get SD medicated to the state of being droolingly catatonic and take any and all self determination away from her, and any decisioning away from BM until SD turns 18.  Then, make her a Ward of the State.

One of my childhood BFFs was Dx'd with Schizoprenia in his mid 20s. His parents and mine are very close friends.  To protect him from himself and preserve their assets for his future care and support, they had him made a Ward of the State.  When he stops his own meds and starts to get manic, the voices get out of control, etc... they call the State Psyche emergency response and ... he is picked up, taken to a Psyche facility, put back on his meds, stabilized, re-evaluated, and not released until the pros say he is ready.  He lives in a garage apartment at his parent's home usually.  They keep a Condo in the neighboring State where he is a Ward.  Their home is just over the border from his Docs, hosptitals, the courts, etc...

Though I realize that SD is likely just an attention seeking BM pawn, if I were her dad I would make the possibility of her killing herself as close to zero as I possibly could. I would destroy her mother, and eleminate self determination from my DD's life as extensively as possbile for as long as I possibly could.

Not only to protect my DD, but to also protect my DS and minimize the impact of his BM and his BM minion sister on his life.

Save every digital blathering communication from SD or BM, save every observation on BM/SD crap made by SS, record every verbal conversation, Web cam your home and save every f2f cnversation SD has in your home with you, daddy, or her brother and feed every byte of those records to the courts, LEO, Docs, Psych pros, etc....

If I were daddy, I would have no doubt that I had done everything possible to prevent my DD from taking her own life.  If she does it as a minor, it would be maneuvered to fruition through conduits I had no control or influence over. At which point I would make damned sure that her idiot mother lived every second of the rest of her POS life wearing the label that she drove her daughter to suicide.  Pushing for her to be made a Ward of the State upon reaching the age of majority may extend the protection that can be provided for SD from her manipulative POS mother.

Grrrrrrr!

I truly hope that this is nothing more than SD catering to mommy and being an attention whore BM minion princess.  But I would take no chances.

Good luck on this.   

Don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this.  It has to be a struggle to live your best life and not let this consume you and your marriage completely.

When discussing my sd's suicide threats my therapist said that it was important that any threats were treated seriously and professional help was provided at the time as that shows the teen that this is serious and is being taken very seriously by everyone. 

These days I'd first call the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline (we're in USA) to get help/advice if my sd made any threats. 

Given your previous blogs, TrueNorth77, I suspect that your teenaged SD is using suicidal threats as a manipulative tactic. However, since these adolescent intimidations are best taken seriously, I suggest that you insist upon an immediate psychiatric intervention each and every time that the girl fabricates her terror tactics.

Mental health treatment facilities in North America seldom provide internet (cell phone) access so a youthful schemer would be very unlikely to orchestrate a second, Baker-acted visit to the psych ward. 

Reading: 

…. we teased her and ensured that she no longer thought jumping off our 9' porch roof was a good idea. She was laughing and in great spirits at the end of our convo….

did not convey, to this senior, the behaviour of a girl so anxious/depressed that she is genuinely intent on ending her life. If your SD is truly suicidal, a compulsory hospitalization, enforced upon every threat, should alleviate many concerns of your husband, his daughter and yourself.

Although my story doesn't even compare to yours, we went through a *brief* stint like this with my SD12 last year and she ended up going to therapy, which she longer goes to, and that makes perfect sense and aligns with what we knew all along- it was all for attention and drama and the therapy is over now that it became inconvenient for her and wasn't getting her the attention and satisfaction she wanted anymore...blah blah blah.

I'm so sorry to see how far your SD has taken this- it sounds horrible and miserable.

Has she been screened for Defiance Disorder? My sister (2 years older than me) had this growing up and she sounds JUST like my sister and as it has been said, these kids DO rebel against the strongest parent. I applaud your DH as it sounds like he is doing all the right things and oh what a relief it must have been and slightly satisfying to hear him admitt to his sense of relief when SD leaves. Once in a great while I get to see a raw and candid moment where DH will express his frustrations for SD instead of trying to defend and sugar coat!

Her backing out when confronted is exactly why everything she does needs to be recorded. If it is text or E/M, save it. As soon as the word suicide arriases... 911.  Keep it up until she either knocks it off or they actually drive consequences for her.

The goal is to of course protect her life.  However, a nearly equal goal is to bare her manipulative "look at meeeeeee" ass.  On her 18th birthday, there should be a sit down come to Jesus meeting with her making it clear that now that she has reached the age of majority her attention seeking suicide manipulative attention seeking is now entirely on her and any mention of it she makes will end the conversation.  And of course... every time she mentions it as an adult... call 911 and report it, ask for a LEO wellness check to her location, etc... and .... she is not in your home.   Do not take the risk of her endiing her life in your home.

When I was in Jr. High, our across the street neighbor's recently adoped adult daughter had moved back in with her mom and dad.  She shot herself in her bedroom in her mom and dad's house.  They flew in StartFlight to our street, they landed in front of our home.  After they brought her out on a stretcher with her head covered with white plastic sheet giving her chest compressions (she was deceased, they were attempting to minimize the trauma for all of the kids that were watching), my mom went across the street with cleaning supplies, etc..... and cleaned up the bedroom.  That was emotionally devistating for mom. It took her quite some time to recover from the emotional/psychological impact of doing that for the neighbors.

This situation you and  your SO are addressing with this SD has to be infuriating.  Worry about her actually killing herself while trying to protect yourselves from both that risk and what is apparently blatant manipulation and likely just an idiot kid ploy to get attention and get out of her personal responsibilities to behave appropriately, do her school work, etc..

Either way, I would default to minimizing her impact on your life and marriage.  Box her in, bring the full consequences of her behaviors down on her to the fullest extent you can make happen, box her in with law enforcement, medical intervention for her threats of suicie, and minimize the comprehensive risk that she is to herself and to you and your marriage.

No one can stop a suicidal person from ending their own life if they are legitimately suicidal.  If they are intent on killing themselves, they will.  If it is purely an attention seeking manipulation, they won't.

IMHO of course.

Not there to give you a minutes by minute review of what's goes in on.  First threatens feels SD is not suicidal. But attention seeking.   So you are playing SD game by wanting to know a minute bu minute goings on.  As long as you play the game. It will continue.  " I feel suicidal". Rushing SD  to emergency room. Taking time to talking... interact with her.  

Maybe you should plan activities with her.  Give her some one to one time.  Group time.   Bowling lessons, league,  cooking class.  Camping.  Make her a import member of the family