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Tranquility's Blog

Blog for positive loving step-parents only. All others will be flagged offensive.

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Submitted by Tranquility on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:10pm

I love my kids, I have made great progress with all of them and even my husband told me last night "This house feels like a home and I am the happiest man in the world". The kids are not fighting, not crying, not hitting, there is a warm meal on the stove, we played golf and afterwards spent time reading and coloring with the children. My 5 yo brought me a flower she picked and smiled at me like the adorable little girl she is, rather than the loud angry child I first took into my house.

The Kid Whisperer Files-Trick #1

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Submitted by Tranquility on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 12:03pm

Sit the skid down and calmly say to them: "I am going to give you this $10. Best life lesson I will ever teach you is this: When I (or an authority figure) ask you to do something, you say "Yes, M'am". They will then say "Yes, M'am"-you give them the $10, smile at them and this will stay with them a life-time.

Kids are like puppies- you gain their trust, you reward them for following a rule, and you will have a whole different breed.

My SM doesn't do that...

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Submitted by Tranquility on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 11:43am

I can just hear it: "My SM doesn't yell, hit, say mean things to us... you guys need to shape up if you want us to visit you guys". SD5 and SD10 tell me how mean and rude their bio family is to them. Today, SD5 said "I don't like my mom, grandma, etc.". I was waiting for it to see if I was included in this pile of hated people, but...it never came. This is a little girl so in love with her dad that she cockblocked every moment together in the beginning and has now learned to appreciate me because I am firm, but speak in love and hold my ground.

Pathetic BM-How to be one

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Submitted by Tranquility on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 8:11pm

Not seeing your kids for weeks then taking them out to dinner and calling 5 times just to interrupt our golf game.
Waiting at our door to drop skids off when they have the key-just to drop off their pillow (they have twenty pillows at our house)-after three weeks.
Buying SD5 a padded bra!!!
I could go on and on. Wow! This one def wins Yadum Mother of the Year award-smh

Stupid BM/BD tricks

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Submitted by Tranquility on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 10:07am

I am starting a thread with stupid tricks bio parents do to...well, whatever their stupid reasoning is. If you have a quick story (keep it brief if possible, like a paragraph or less, please share it on this thread Smile

Here goes mine: BM calls 10 min before SS's practice and says "Can you (dad) pick up SS12 and take him to practice, I have to go groceries shopping". SS12 lives around the corner from the school where they practice.

It's all good

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Submitted by Tranquility on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 9:10am

For those of you struggling with blending families, remember- Less is More. I mean, do the basics for the kids-cook, clean, smile at them, but the rest is up to the parental units-and we are NOT one of them, really.

Blissful detachment/Tricks I have learned

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Submitted by Tranquility on Tue, 07/10/2012 - 9:05am

I see things on a daily basis that should be done differently with all the kids and skids, and it got to the point where I was consumed by the lack of structure and dysfunctionalities between all the baby mammas plus things that needed to be addressed in our household. It was negatively impacting our relationship.

I figured it out

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Submitted by Tranquility on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 4:26pm

What I have figured out from trying to blend families (this is not my first rodeo) is this: Lack of communication, lack of boundaries, lack of consistency. Blended families perpetuate what broke the relationships in the past in the first place. So, we just drift along, the second or third time around, thinking everything will just work out. And step-moms are now blamed for any and everything because we want to address the problems and lack the leadership of strong men in our lives and our children's lives (all of them).

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