I'm not a monster, not a terrible person for thinking the way I do, that's just who I am.

When I read all the posts on here and think about all these situations as well as my own, I think to myself why is there so much drama when it comes to skids?

Back when DH and I got engaged I told him flat out how I felt about the skid situation and just the whole situation in general. I told him i can't predict every future situation but for the time being this is what I can deal with/what I can't, this is what's okay with me/this is what's not, these are within normal boundaries/these are not, I don't dote on other people's children or I would have had children of my own at this point in my life, I don't want to be disrespected by a woman who doesn't even know me (BM), i understand that you and BM will haveto communicate re child but please be reasonable about it and please tell me when it's her and don't like about it, I don't do step titles, please be HONEST. After telling him all these things about how I feel, I told him, if this isn't okay with you then that's fine I respect your opinion as well and we just won't take this any further because if we aren't in aggreement about these types of things it won't do anybody any good. If you are, that's great. I love you and I would love to continue our adventure together and build a really great life with you. So when we got engaged and got married I figured he was good with what I had talked with him about.

Well while I know my situation could be worse, it could be better too. I've noticed over time that he had taken that conversation loosely. Some things he's pretty good with, others I get many wtf moments on my end.

I could understand if I had kept this all to myself, and he was completely unaware of any or all of it. But I was 100% open and honest about my views from the beginning, and he was in agreement to take things to the next step. Yet, boundaries have been crossed, things have been blatantly disregarded on his end, poor judgements have been made, MIL and BM get away with things they should never in a million years be able to, etc.

There is no reason for all of this drama. There's no reason for people to see me as a bad person for not liking the skid situation. I was truthful and DH still went along with it, so what was I supposed to think?

I wish someone else had been truthful, had said yes i will put your feelings on a back burner, i will have innapropriate convos with BM, i will expect you to take over entertainment for my kid when i see her, i will walk on eggshells around bm and kiss her ass so she doesn't get mad, i will keep things from you when it comes to texts and calls from bm, my mother is going to drive you visibly nuts about daughter and i will just sit there and watch, i will cross boundaries, anytime we have a happy milestone in our relationship bm will get pissed and retaliate, i am going to father my child like she is 2 and not 6, i will get upset when you don't do kartwheels when she does something i think is amazing, i'm not going to punish my kid when she kicks you during a tantrum i will coddle her instead.

I love my DH to death but I guess I think i should have atleast been given the courtesy of a heads up.