So I thought I would join this...find a way to vent my feelings, because I know my family and friends are really probably sick of hearing it. I guess I'm just so frustrated...

I've been married for 6 years. I have a 15 year old SS that lives with is mom and SD, 2 BS that have never known their dad and have always lived with me, and 2 BS with my current husband. It has been the longest 6 years of my life. I've been through a lot with my ex-husband. He was into a lot of bad stuff, so when he just up and left, it was probably more of a blessing. I had hoped that when I remarried, my 2 sons would then have a dad, but my current husband barely spends anytime with them at all and usually he's yelling or critizing them.

My current husband also doesn't spend much time being a dad to the 2 BS we have together. He's only a dad when it's convenient for him. I don't leave, because I don't want my 2 BS to be passed back and forth. I've seen what it's done to my SS. I don't want to miss out on something in their lives because it's his weekend to have them.

Anyway, with the SS...he's not welcome in my home. Several years ago, my SS punched my BS in the face because my BS talked to him while he was trying to play a video game. I turned off the video game and told him he needed to go sit on his bed. My husband announced that he didn't have to because he wasn't going to discipline him when he came to our house because he wanted him to have a "good time" while he had him. So he took him and they went somewhere together. Two weeks after that, my husband announced that if any of us (include me) wanted to watch tv, play video games, computer, etc., then we needed to ask his or my SS's permission because technically everything in our house was his and my SS's.

After that, on the weekends he had his son, I would take my 2 BS and our new BS together to stay at my parent's house. After 6 months, my 2 BS were tired of not being able to sleep in there own bed and play with their toys. On my BS's birthday, I came home to find that he was keeping my SS on an extra day because my SS didn't want to go home. So my BS would have to spend their birthday away from home. I was mad and yelled at my husband in front of my SS. I told him what a jerk he was and that I hoped that his BS (my SS) went home and told his BM that he didn't want to come to our house anymore. Well, guess what? That's exactly what he did. Only he also told his BM that I was being mean to him and not letting he do what he wanted (among other things). I wasn't even around when he was there, so I'm not sure how I could have done anything to him. When my husband told me the my SS's BM would let him stay at our house anymore, I said that was good because he wasn't welcome here anyway. And it's been like that ever since. I realize it's my more my husband that is the problem, but now my SS is disrespectful towards me and his BM and it hasn't changed in all this time.

I keep telling myself that if I just wait 3 more years, life can be normal...but I know I'm lying to myself.

My SS only calls his BD when he wants something. My husband says that my SS isn't allowed to call him when he wants to, but he sure doesn't seem to have a problem went there is something that he wants. He doesn't care about his 2 HB or his 2 SB. In fact, he told a family member that he didn't care as long as he didn't have to share anything with any of them.

My SS has begged his BD to let him come live with us twice because he got in trouble and didn't want to have to face the consequences. I said no...I have 4 other children to look after that don't have a backup family to take care of them.

We live in a small 3 bedroom apartment and 6 months ago my husband's ex-wife went after more CS. She said it was because it was expensive trying to raise a teenager (we would know, we are raising 2 in our home and we don't get any CS for them). But while she was waiting for the state to review our income, her and her husband where finalizing buying their new bigger, more expensive house and went on a 2 week vacation to Hawaii.

I guess the whole reason I'm so frustrated with this situation is that I feel like no body cares about the kids in our home...not even my husband. And everyone is so concerned about my SS. I don't get why he's so special.

I don't remember ever feeling happy when it comes to my marriage. I worry about a lot of things: my 4 BS, money...just to name a couple. I'm not my husband's best friend, my SS is. Every other weekend, he starts treating every one like crap because he knows he'll have my SS, so he doesn't need us for anything. Like I said...I'm just frustrated.