Evening all. So I'm new. Not sure what I'm really struggling with to be honest. I can't pinpoint any one thing I'm struggling with, but I guess I feel since this whole Corona thing started I just can't seem to catch my breath. I work at the unemployment office so I know it's work too. I just can't shake this feeling that sometimes I've bitten off more than I can chew. I have 2 stepkids... One just turned 12 and the other is almost 15. My partner also had a vasectomy reversal so we could have a family of our own. Our daughter is 10 months old. Sometimes it just feels like it's all too much. The expectations of being a "mom" or "stepmom". I know that a lot of that is self imposed. The house needs to be cleaned and the grocery shopping done and I need to keep up with what toys are best for 10 month old development and try to figure out some parenting strategies to relate to my step kids despite that the fact that no matter what I do or what efforts I make I'll never be their perfect mother. My partner doesn't have a bad relationship with his kids, and he really is a great father, but like a lot of men he doesn't know how to talk  Express emotions, communicate etc. Aside from the obvious stress that puts on our own relationship I feel that because the kids are close with their mom in that way they basically just come here because they have to, and despite any efforts i make I will never be able to make up for the fact that he can't talk to them. I'm also really struggling with the idea that I can't make the rules for my own home. Basically what their mom says goes and any rules we make were just the bad guy. So nevermind that I think it's ridiculous that a 14 year old girl has a cell phone and laptop that are completely unmonitored and that she has no rules around how much or how often she is gone from the house. The fact that SS can't spell at 12 which is never brought up or we are making fun of him. Because we have tried for years to make SS eat his veggies we have come out time and time again as the bad guys because  mom has no rules around food and my partner caves when he doesn't feel like enforcing rules. I see these glaring things that worry me for raising my daughter in a household where she will be parented so differently with such different expectations and rules. I worry that they will all be undermined by what she sees going on with her siblings. I'm just hoping that there is enough of an age difference that the effects will be negligible. Thanks for listening to me rant. I think everything all at once is just coming down on me and creating a bit of a mid life crisis, "what have I done with my life and can I do this?" feeling which I can't seem to shake.