Mr. Not So Neutral Gives An Update
Usually when Chef's older half brother calls, its because he wants something done for free. He seems to feel an obligation to make sure Chef's disfunctional, disjointed family stays in touch with each other.
This was the pre-holiday call. They talked for over 2 hours catching up on the latest over in Girhippoville (Mr. NSN lives in Girhippoville as does most of Chef's family... about 25-35; minutes away from us.
YSS20 is still living with the Girhippo and HER BM, Battleaxe Galactica due to BG's full blown dementia. Oddly, BG's most recent husband is living by himself in their house while his wife is being cared for by the Gir and StepDaddyBigBucks in the much smaller house they bought almost a year ago. I find this strange but what do I know?
OSS26 and his wife just bought a house. I had the most hope for OSS as he was the most sensible (that's not saying much) of the three ferals. Apparently he has come to the realization that he will not be making his living as a rock star although music is a hobby for him.
It seems SD24 is the most autonomous from the Gir although the Gir went out of her way to enmesh her. Oddly enough SD looks the most like Chef-- has his coloring and features unlike the boys who are clones of the Gir. She actually lives the closest to us-- about 5-10 minutes away and is studying medical coding. Seems to be keeping herself afloat some how. I believe she is working for a healthcare insurance firm as well.
Chef went on to brag to Mr. NSN that although estranged he knows his kids will do good because they are of good stock (despite his entire family being alcoholics with checkered pasts). And that it "would kill him" to read about his ferals in the paper aka police blotter.
I did all I could not to roll my eyes...YSS20 is the worst of the three and seeing that the average age for getting in trouble with the law seems to be late twenties, I wouldn't get my hopes up.
Fortunately I busied myself as I have been doing all day cooking for tomorrow. I have almost all my Easter decor out, the coconut cake is baked and ice and the roasts are brining. Chef consented to not bringing home pork chops for the grill and contented himself with the leftovers I had planned to use up.
Tomorrow my DS, his wife and granddaughter come over for Easter. I have an Easter basket for DGDstb2 and some baby shark Easter eggs that I will be filling with a local candy makers homemade chocolates. And in 10 more days is her 2nd birthday! She already can identify all the alphabet, knows her colors, numbers to at least 20 and shapes such as triangle and octogon.
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Lamb cake
Back in the day, I went all out for the holidays for the 5 kids, 2 bios and 3 SKs. 5 Easter baskets, 5 chocolate bunnies, 5 bags of jelly beans 5 dozen dyed eggs, etc. I bought a lamb cake pan to make a lamb cake for Easter. I made it, cocanut for the hair, jelly beans for eyes, etc. YSS mocked it and me unmercifully, he was a very witty boy. Bye, lamb cake.
Looking back...
I shouldn't have taken the "lamb cake mockery" so personally. But I guess our SP feelings are often raw.
Oh yes
I once went all out for the 3 ferals since I and my bios were not brought up with any holidays. Easter, one of my fav holidays since taking up the holidays, turned into Christmas Part II for the 3 ferals. Chef's guilty daddy spending with money we didn't have knew no bounds.
I once made a birthday cake for OSS's 7th bday that looked like a train. It was snubbed then gobbled. Just before YSS PASed out for good, gone were the brand name chocolates for Easter after I had set up egg coloring and 6 yr old YSS continued his "ThinkThrice is invisible" routine by literally turning his chair so his back was toward me and addressing Chef only "Dad let's just you and me color these eggs."
He had also adopted the nasty habit of trying to "walk through me" as though I didn't exist often purposely colliding with me to see if I'd get out of his way in a bizarre game of "chicken. "
So I started buying the cheapest dollar store candy for him as I was slowing disengaging when all 3 mercifully stopped coming to visitation one by one.
I now enjoy going all out for MY bios and DGD!
I would have plastered the cake in the SKid's face and he would
have starved until he ate every bite.
Nope. That kid would rue the day......
That DH did not end his disrespectful failed family toxic spawn says more than I need to know about him.
Why do SParents, or any other parent for that matter, tolerate crap from disrespecful asshole children?
If we had treated our mother that way, after she got done with us, dad would have ended any thought of ever disrespecting our mother or anything she made for us. Ever again. Most importantly, we would have never even thought of behaving that way.
This morning I was looking at
This morning I was looking at our big yard, lush and verdant from the record setting rain we got, and thinking about the big Easter egg hunts we used to host at our last house - so much fun, twenty or so kids running about, friends and good food. Compare that to the only one we hosted (primarily for OSD's brood) at our current home, which was not fun. It's really about the people we spend these special occasions with, isn't it? Doing things for ungrateful people sucks, and I'm glad to be out of that particular ring of skid Hell. Hope you have a wonderful Easter with YOUR peeps, TT. You've more than earned it.
Skids were supposed to be at
Skids were supposed to be at our house this weekend, but didn't show and didn't say anything. They were likely still in California to visit BM's parents...an annual trip that always eats into DH's weekend, no matter which side of spring break it falls on and despite BM's repeated pointing to the parenting plan any time she feels as if DH has not done what she wants. It was fine because DH now has to work on Saturdays and the only SS who continues to show up, shows up to pout and report back to BM on our home. DH just shrugs when things like this happen, whereas, I find it rude that no notice is given.
Meanwhile, MIL invited us over for Easter dinner. We didn't go because it was too late for our small children and DH is leaving tonight for his job, but of course, MIL also invited SSs (again, no one tells DH anything and he just shrugs his shoulders). Because of this, we knew they were around, but supposedly were not going to MILs because they were sick. It annoys me to no end that MIL treats SSs like they are their own separate family, but then also expects us to accommodate them in every way...but SSs are 17, so soon, BM will be a thing of the past and we likely will not see SSs much at all. Our DD really likes one of her brothers, so it's sad that he doesn't show up anymore, but she'll still be fine. She's old enough now to know who he is, but sees him so rarely, that she doesn't wonder where he is. The SS who still shows up ignores her, so she doesn't like him.