Spin off Snowflakes blog about BMs and biokids.
Honestly I would rather my Nudger (to be born in July) to spend a weekend with my Sd's mom over my FIL. He has tried to get BM to fight his son (my dh) with him so he could take one of our two monthly weekends.
So I was wondering...in this crazy step world, is there anyone else out there who has tried to keep the crazies (even blood relatives) away from their kids? How sucessful can you be with this?
I don't want FIL anywhere near my baby.
I don't want SIL to have my child without me around.
I don't want FIL's girlfriend to even know the baby exists (too late).
- Thetis's blog
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we're in the (long) process
we're in the (long) process of trying to move to the otherside of the country. lol. we'll see if that helps. my mother is a wack job, dh's family fights and bickers over ss, amongst themselves, in front of us, and tries to take him from us, his mother abducted him once and has threatened to do it again multiple times and has exposed him to god only knows how many druggy boyfriends, his half-brother by bm (who she had at 14, has nothing to do with, and who lives with her parents) physically hurts him and bm's parents aloud their child to get pregnant at 14, 16, 21 and kicked her out of the house multiple times. ya..... i dont want them around my kid or ss for long periods of time either. know how you feel.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
Wow, you got it worse then
Wow, you got it worse then me. I'm just super shocked at the entitlement that FIL and SIL seem to have.
Just because they have a blood tie to SD they expect to take her whenever they want at the cost of family time with me and DH. I'm sorry but I feel that the bond between a sm and child, and a child and bio-dad should be more important. FIL lives in town half the time and has visited with me and Dh twice, never with munchkin around and has not even seen the new house. I have been living with Dh for TWO YEARS!!! How can you justify ignoring your own child like that? My parents are around all the time. I see my mom everyday and my dad will visit when he can. I just don't understand.
ya..entitlement issues
ya..entitlement issues abound here too. i got a call once (and this is not the only time its happened) from an extended family member of dh's that ss was visiting. she told me that ss looks big and i need to not feed him junk and that he needs to eat veggies and fruit. i said i dont feed him junk. he doesnt eat preprocessed food, im a vegetarian, he rarely eats anything sugary, and i buy organic. it was ridiculous - ss looked big because he had gone from a 4t to a size 5 since the last time the lady had seen him six months ago! then the next time ss spent time with her, she told me that he wouldnt eat meat and arent i a vegetarian? i said yes.. but ss's favorite meal when we go to a restaurant is ribs... ss is not a vegetarian and neither is DH. pfft... ya.. it is insulting on some level.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
I believe thats all in the
I believe thats all in the hands of you and FH.
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
Really? Like they can't pull
Really? Like they can't pull legal shit on us? (I know I worry about this about once a month, but...)
Maybe our counsellor will make me feel better.
This is just all brought up again because Bm told dh that FIL called her after we told him HELL NO to helping him get visitation from her. He was asking for a letter explaining that Dh never "lets" FIL see his grandchild. (We found this out two weeks ago)
And now FIL is being nice to Dh at work. I'm terrified.
Don't quote me on this b/c
Don't quote me on this b/c I'm just speaking out of my arse as usual, lol. But from my understanding other blood relatives, including grandparents, don't have the same rights that biological parents do.
However, there are *some* states (you're not in the states, so I'm not sure how it works) that allow grandparents to have visitation rights when a couple divorces......but you and FH aren't divorced.
So I guess the answer to your question, is no, they can't pull anything legal on you....atleast not to my knowledge.
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
Yep. You get to CHOOSE who
Yep. You get to CHOOSE who your kids spend time with. I know that if I am ever blessed with a child of my own (and I pray for this constantly), I will not allow In-laws to be with baby without me. I've all ready discussed it with dh. I disagree with their take on how children should be treated on a fundamental level and don't want them spending one-on-one time with my child, especially an infant. I find it to be a safety issue. As for Wingnut, she'll never have access to my child. I'd try to keep her from ever actually seeing the kid. She is an evil woman who believes her child is the only worthy child on the planet.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
I just find it so hard to
I just find it so hard to believe that *I* will be allowed to make that call, after everything that we've been through with the court. I'm expecting a family judge to pop up and say "No, FIL has a right to see the child".
Well theres another phobia to sit on the shelf with the spiders... what do clowns have on Family Court Judges???
I'm not sure what state
I'm not sure what state you're in, but in PA (and PA is pretty liberal with respect to grandparents from what I understand) grandparents only have the right to sue for visitation if their child dies and the other parent denies access. Family courts don't even want to be involved when parents divorced, they aren't itching to get involved in nuclear family battles. My parents were primary care-givers to my niece for the first 2 years of her life. They baby-sat 13-14 hours a day 6 days a week and for 5-6 hours on day 7 and when my brother died they had to fight to see her. The courts still only gave them 6 days a month DESPITE the fact that they were her primary care-givers and the people with whom she spent her entire childhood. I doubt ANY court will make you or dh allow anyone to see your child. MIL threatened me with court for access of Creature when they pissed me off a Christmas. I laughed at her. Grandparents don't have rights to children with two living parents.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
I am at a crossroads with
I am at a crossroads with this one. In my last blog I said that I wouldn't let BM anywhere near Biobaby.
Well- I am supposed to go out and visit my kids who live with my ex. They live in another state. My ex is nice enough to let me stay with him. He even invited biobaby to stay with him - so that the kids could spend some time with her, and mainly because he knows that dh has to work. So, he knows it would be easier for me to take her with me.
But DH is having a hissyfit, saying no. I think he may be jealous of the ex. But with me and BM, it is because she is a mean, cold-hearted person who would be mean torwards biobaby.
What is the worst thing that my ex would do to biobaby - hold her?