Need some advice on neglectful BM
This is my first blog post here, but I had to vent. I have another standalone blog that is mostly a humor site, but this is so embarassing I dont want to post this there.
A little background: I have been with my DH for 4 years, married 2 months. He has 3 children from a previous marriage, SD10, SD9 and SD4 and we have them EOWe. My problem is of course the BM.
BM is supposed to have primary custody of the children but routinely drops them off with her parents and only sees them about EOWe herself. She is still receiving CS ($1600/month) but the children are constantly dressed like little hobo's, their shoes are always dirty and falling apart, whenever they come over they are never showered, they have had lice numerous times, etc. They are also on their way to being overweight since they only eat junk food. I hit the final straw when they came over this past weekend. I asked the older girls to get SD4 ready for bed since she was wearing her dayclothes and a bathing suit still. Their snappy response was "Why cant she just sleep in what she's wearing?" To which I informed them that if they wanted to sleep in jeans that is their choice but she is too young to make that choice for herself. They then told me she had been wearing that outfit for 3 DAYS STRAIGHT. As in no shower, wearing a bathing suit, wearing dirty clothes for 3 days. As women we all know how bad it is to sit around in a swim suit, which I guess explains why the little one is always scratching her lady parts. I promptly sent all 3 to take a shower.
What I don't understand is that she will take them to get their hair highlighted and their ears pierced and has the nerve to ask them if I am prettier than her, but she won't take basic care of them.
I have had it. We live in TX which tends to favor the mother in these situations unless she is abusive to the kids, so we are basically helpless. I would appreciate any feedback on what to do in this situation. Thanks.
- the_stepmonster's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
He usually puts them to bed
He usually puts them to bed but I was doing an arts and crafts project with them that night (DH birthday cards). When they stay with us, DH and I feed them balanced meals, make sure they shower daily, make sure they have clean clothes and take them shopping for new clothes and shoes when they come over with rags.
The problem I have with them staying at the grandparents all the time is that we would gladly take care of them primarily if its too much to handle for her and it would probably be better for them to be with a parent, but she doesn't want to lose her CS so she would never voluntarily give up custody. I wouldn't even mind giving the CS to the grandparents since they would actually use the money to take care of them but DH refuses to get involved.
You can't do anything about
You can't do anything about the kids staying with their grandparents. You can call CPS about the neglect. In NY you don' t have to have prove neglect/abuse to make a call. If suspect something , call it in. Tell them whyand theytake it from there .