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Slightly OT, But I've been wondering lately...

thefunmommy's picture

My BD just turned 1 at the beginning of the month. She's mobile and vocal, but she still can't really indicate what she wants. When she wants something, for the most part she still will whine/cry. Since she can't tell me when she's hungry etc, she cries.
I have no idea how to "discipline" a child this young. BD1 is my first. I have lots of experience with kids, through babysitting, my job, and the skids, but they're all school-age, or at least 3-4. I don't want to be like DH, who basically rewards the skids when they whine, but I'm not sure at what point I need to be concerned about not giving in to her crying. I can't really ask DH about this, because IMO the skids are whiners and I don't want BD to be like that. But that would start a fight.
I have no idea if I phrased this well enough that it's understood, but thoughts would be appreciated.

Comments

buttercookie's picture

When she cries ask her "Do you want a drink"? If so tell her to say Water. etc it can be used on anything. That way you found out what she wants, teach her vocabulary and you can eventually add please at the end to teach her manners.

sonja's picture

My BS just turned 15mo. He says 'yea' but its a response to everything..

We do 'slap' his hands when he continually drops his cup or intentionally throws food on the floor. I guess we just know when hes whining for no reason. If he hasnt had a lot of nap time, hes going to whine cause hes tired. We have the habit of doing enough snacks in between meals, so he rarely whines for hunger. We've always been big on not holding him all the time, so he does whine to be held, or gets upset when you put him down.

He knows 'NO' and we say 'no no!' a lot. We have the cat food/water in the bathroom, so its off limits except for bath time. I ended up putting the dishes in there next to the toilet, another major no no area.

I always try to communicate with him as if he fully understands me. Like using short phrases or telling him dinners almost ready if hes getting impatient.

Bedtime is still a struggle, I always tell him I love him and that Ill be back when he wakes up. But we do use CIO and he still cries nightly at bedtime.

Itll get better. My BS is doing good with words, but isnt walking yet, so it all varies.

simifan's picture

At 1 it's her way to communicate, if she's still doing this @ 3 then worry about dealing with the whining.

snoopyinoz's picture

If she is having trouble communicating try teaching her some ASL (American sign language) there simple signs for "food" "eat" "drink" "nap" that way she can tell you what she wants

cant win for losin's picture

My BD is about to turn 1 and can't "say" anything yet. Just cryin and whinin for communication, but she clearly understands my words. I started off immediately (she is my third child) sayin one word to describe whatever it was. Pretty much the basics. Bites for eating, Ba for nursing, drink for drink (sippy) snack for snack, nite for sleep (even naps) etc..
She understands those words. I would say them while I was doing it, getting ready to do it, that kind of stuff. She can tell me if I guessed wrong. If she is cryin/whinin and I say "want a snack?" if it is no, her cry will get more frustrating, her little arms fling around, her body language is clearly saying no. so we try again. Bites? Then her cry/whine will have a different tone. Maybe a more continuous way about it.

By the way my BD isn't walking. I'm not worried. She prefer's crawling. She cruises along the furniture. Places weight on her legs. I know they develop at their own pace. Smile
As far as "discipling" I am not sure, exactly what you want to discipline her for? I am teaching "no." I say no firmly and take her away from what ever she is doing. The word no has no meaning when there is no action involved.

thefunmommy's picture

I guess I'm just not sure how to communicate with her. We do ok for eating, naps, basics. I know she cries/whines for attention sometimes, wanting to be held, etc. I'm not sure where the line/age is that I should stop rewarding her with that attention. I'm not really worried about her milestones, she doesn't have any obvious developmental delays or anything, and I see her learning new things every day. I think I'll try teaching her some simple words and signs. As far as discipline, there are things in the house that she can get to that she shouldn't have, and I can't remove (the outside of the oven gets hot, part of the screen door is sharp) that I don't want her to have the "natural consequences" of. If that makes any sense. I'm sure a lot of it is still the insecure new mom in me worrying over nothing

cant win for losin's picture

I don't think you are over worrying and I think your questions are just fine. Smile I think age 1 is still okay to "whine" for attention. For me, as they learn words, that is when I make them use those words. And I say that if too. "use your words." Aside from whining because of tiredness, sick, things like that.
I get what you are saying about not wanting a whiny child. I think if you are communicating fine with her for the basics then you are doing fine. Smile You know the basics so you know if there is a time when she is whining to whine. But I don't think 1 year olds do that yet. I have to admit, in my own tiredness at times it "seems" like every blue moon bd1 is "whining" but she is usually wanting something. Even if it is just for me to play. Smile
As far as the discipline. I get exhausted running around telling my toddlers NO, no, no, no. So for all the babies/toddlers i put those things i really really don't want messed with out of sight and out of reach. Yes there is still things she gets told no for, but like I said i say no with action. I may clap my hands for attention, a firm no and then physically move her to something more pleasing. And while I do that i say "No, bd. Play with your toys." (as I move her to her toys) or I may clap my hands and say "no thank you bd. here play with this" (naming the object and handing it to her)
I get the "natural consequences" part. On things like that I just keep a closer eye, and when she gets close enough before touching i say, "no bd. that is hot/sharp/owies/ etc..."

Shieldmaiden's picture

My sisters kids were taught a little sign language as babies, and this really helped as they grew into toddlers. They could sign the words "more" "eat" "water" etc. Then when they learned language, it came as a natural progression. She has studied early childhood education so I guess this is a new thing and its worked well for many parents.