BM & Skids Lying for Her
Yesterday was a sheer debacle....
Friday Night BM & SD15 call, SO didn't answer the phone because BM will typically use SD's phone when SO wont answer...BM leaves a VM but SO doesn't call her back.
Saturday comes around and me and SO were getting ready to go to his work function New Years Party and BM/SD call again...again we ignore because BM is threatning to withhold skids unless she knows our address...then we get a text from SD that BM is driving them to McDonalds and demand that we pick both SD 15 & SS stb 14 up from there...they knew we were going to a party---we told them(NO) this is a ploy by the way of BM getting to know our address--we don't want them in our home unless were there(not to sound like selfish pricks)...after we told them no and lots of calls in between---fucking bitch BM finds out where we live(meaning she drove about an hour around our town trying to find our home) and the skids start ringing the fucking door and knocking they stay outside our house for about an hour---SO told them we don't want your mother knowing where we live(BM is a money hungry whore).
Not to sound like total A holes---but me and SO had to pretend that we were not home, and had to look out of the blinds carefully to see when they leave...I even called my aunt in case they were still here after an hour(to come by and tell them to leave)...this is fucking pathetic-that this psychotic bitch does this--she knew about the party, so did the skids.
Anyways, today rolls around and SO texts SD and pretends that some man(BM) and a couple of people were trying to break in yesterday--to see if his kids would admit that they came by and were trying to get in with BM....I hate to say it but the skids didn't mention anything to SO that they came by- nothing...their loyalty lies with BM...she has a warped perception we are loaded...were fucking broke.
I feel really bad for SO because I always knew they would lie to him--its sickening.
I am so sick of the Drama lately...SD has this warped mind unfortunately inherited from her mother, that shes fat, shes ugly, she hasn't been to school since the beginning of October---there is no reason for it...her parents are not dying, she is not dying, she has a roof over head, shes not ugly, she doesn't get made fun of at school, her grandparents are loaded...Its really frustrating to have someone in crisis mode all the time and fucking psycho mother..I even told SO out of frustration that I think your kids are whacked but in a politer way(seriously yesterday was nuts)...My daughter recently got diagnosed with a health issue-HSP Purpura it is scary because she has bruises and the anxiety from all the drama lately makes me think the worse of things---until your child gets diagnosed with something serious their should not be fucking crisis and drama everywhere.
I even told SO I don't want the skids living with us...Ive got too much on my plate right now, not to be a bitch...but way too much these skids, bm and life is going to make me have a heart attack.
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Comments
Thank you....I understand
Thank you....I understand about the address (to a certain extent) but legally so far...there are no binding laws that the other parent needs to know the other parents address unless it says so in the CO...which SO says there is nothing that states that in the CO.
I think skids will always have a loyalty to the Primary Residency Parent---even if they are deranged.
I am just sick of SD in crisis and not going to school, taking a half bottle of Tylenol...etc...there really are more important things to worry about...serious things could happen medically or financially until that happens...Id try to enjoy life!
I am glad SO is now reclaiming himself after 15 years of being the bad guy- BM is still not over their divorce 15 years later!
That is SO sad that those
That is SO sad that those children were locked out of their dad's house.
I do get it from your point of view. They will never blame their own mother for putting them up to it. It's beyond cruel.
I know it sounds mean that we
I know it sounds mean that we had to pretend we were not home...but BM was deliberately trying to prevent us from going to the party...this is about power control...BM has never once wanted to drive the skids up who live an hour way...she demanded gas money-if she did...Its not that SO didn't want to see his kids-BM just wanted to see where we live...she is not used to SO saying, "NO"--they were over for more than half the month in December...its a long complicated story.
I don't think its sad at all.
I don't think its sad at all. I think this was a power play and Bm and the kids knew it was wrong. But did it away. besides what made Amy of them think they were home? they knew they had plans. I think its safe to say that it was all on purpose to make dad look mean. And apparently it worked b/c at least one person believes it. That imo is the sad part.
True- SO looks like an
True- SO looks like an asshole again
Crazy- doesn't describe it...
Crazy- doesn't describe it... its insanity- I hope SO sees his family for what they are- I am nit trying to get him against his kids but for them not to admit- is sick such loyalty to bm.
I think that is a great
I think that is a great idea.... unforyunately SO will say that SD is under BMs manipulation snd SO is insistant that she stay over and basically I have no rights to say no ( which I understand since he is s ncp and sd took tylenol and overdosed.?and cuts herself)....then ill feel guilty...its hard to explain.
SD apparrently doesn't lie(religious reasons) but definitely lied about her, ss and bm coming over. We even said that we got the plate numbers from the vehicle and were waiting for the police to get back to us ( this is to scare bm) totally untrue- sd hasn't responded since... its been a few hours the more I think sbout it- the more I don't want them over.
SO will say that their his kis, their manipulated blah blah.
Please don't put too much
Please don't put too much emphasis or importance in SD lying. First of all, she sounds very troubled, is young and has no choice but to lie for her mother. It's a matter of survival for her and it's unfair to back her into a corner. DH knew what she did, no need to rub her nose in it. She had no choice but to do what her sick mother told her to do.
Please don't call the cops on DHs kids. That will never look like the right thing - until they are doing destructive things or being antagonistic of course. I'm thinking SM needs a restraining order or something. She sounds unhinged.
Being these aren't the
Being these aren't the smartest people in the world (based from your description), it really is possible they have no clue you are talking about them. They didn't try to break into your home. They beat on the door knocking and stood there for an hour. People trying to break in don't do that. Then you tell them it was a man and a couple others. There was no 'man' there. Then you tell them you reported plates to police. Well, no police have contacted them about trying to 'break-in' your home.
Seriously, they may believe you're talking about a totally different happening. You pretended you weren't home. They don't know you were right behind the window peeking at them. They don't know you were indeed home. But if someone was trying to 'break-in' , you were home and even saw the plates...surely it must not be them and their beating on your door you're talking about.
For pete's sake, if you really want to think they're lying and cover/siding for their mother, why not come right out and ask them 'hey, I know you were by last night and knocking on the door. You know we were going out to Dad's work party, why did Mom bring you by?'.
The address thing is now of course a mute issue. The BM now knows where you live. I'm actually surprised she didn't just have the kids point the way for her a long time ago. Kids aren't young. All she had to do was say 'kids, direct me on the route to Dads house'. If not before, then this night was a perfect night to do it. You weren't suppose to be home. She has kids direct way, jots down physical address and drives away. But she didn't do that. She sent them up to the door. She wasn't sneaky about it. There must have been something to clue her/the kids into thinking you were indeed home or why would she have the kids pound on the door and stand there like idiots for an hour?
If you want the kids to stop with scheduled visitations and not visit your home any longer, well that's something you'll have to discuss with your Dh. So you live in a nicer home, drive a nicer car, perhaps have nicer whatever around your home. I think the address 'game' was a bit over the top. A no trespassing sign, a restraining order if called for, but playing this address game was not necessary. Well, I guess you know that now as BM found you anyway.
True- this address thing was
True- this address thing was me and SOs idea- I suggested it at first than SO said he agreed than they got into a fight at mcdonalds publicly last month- bm started it when so said no to giving her the address- I wanted to give it to her at this point.
But yeah- I don't want to limit their contact I am just sick of the drama the skids and bm cause- Iddon't mean to be unsympathetic it is really annoying to have drama every other week...lots of stress over nothing...
Lol- no I would never call
Lol- no I would never call the cops on his kids- so said this to see if they would admit to him they came over- yes sd is troubled but there is no reason for her to be like this- apparently bm took a bittle of pills in highschool because she didn't want to go to school- like sd did..and at 15 you are easily influenced but still know right from wrong.
She is a financial
She is a financial interrogator- she has more money than us but wants more- we mived to a nicer rented home and I want her the f away from our home...
I know not to tell skids and bm things- so is unfortunately learning this the hard way.
Bm/ skids should have believed and understood no means no.
Ok I completely understand
Ok I completely understand where you're coming from!! We probably would have done things the same way you did! Lol
BM KNEW better. You had already told her no and she shows up anyway. Wow. What a bitch-- and there she goes putting the kids right smack in the middle. You can't fix "stupid"... Or "asshole".
And I totally get how you told the kids about "someone trying to break in" & getting the license plate etc. Another poster said the kids may not realize you're taking about them... Bullshit- Those kids are old enough, they aren't stupid. They just covered BMs ass. How sad. I would be disgusted. And yes the next time they came over my DH would be calling them out in it. 15 is old enough to be held responsible for actions/lies etc. Would be different if these kids were like 4&5 yrs old.
You're DH is going to have to stop telling the kids your plans/business on BMs time. .
I feel for you with this crazy BM and all this SD drama!!! :sick: