This is sort of off topic but it definitely has me worried.

I have two boys 15 and 17 yrs old. They are great boys who are now doing a lot better now that I have full custody of them. Four years ago my ex kicked me out of my own house, changed the locks and put a restraining order on me against himself, my house and my oldest who is a disabled daughter. He fought for an won full custody of all 3 children b/c I was at the time homeless/jobless after being a sahm for 15 yrs. I went to college and then got a job and am now working two jobs and obviously doing a lot better, married to dh, have 3 skids and 1 sgkid.

After 3 years of my boys living with their dad they finally begged me to fight for custody of them. My ex got guardianship of my daughter a bit earlier then 18, he tricked me and took it to court before she even turned 17, gave a wrong address for me and so I did not get the summons to go to court and he won full guardianship by default. But being a guardian doesn't make him a guardian or parent of any substance. I have full access to my daughter now whenever I want b/c she is almost 20 and lives in her own home.

Ok so the worry for me is this. My boys have been complaining to me lately how xh is drinking heavily and always talking bad about me to them. They try telling him that his anger towards me is his issue and they don't want to hear about it, but when they say that to him he gets even worse. We are pretty darn sure that he has undiagnosed bipolar like his dad had. I am not worried about my 17 yr old b/c he is off to college (but his dad picked him up last weekend for a sporting event but ended up talking about me to the point where bs17 doesn't want to talk to him again for another year. He's sick of his dad's selfishness and anger and lack of getting over losing me etc.) and able to take care of himself, however my 15 yr old is still supposed to go over to xh's house eow. He has high functioning Asperger's and is beginning to do ok when he's over there but he always comes home hungry and depressed. He says his dad never talks to him and rarely cooks decent food.

The basis to my custody fight was on those issues, lack of good food in the house resulting in bs15 having lost 30% of his body weight in one year, very poor school grades with both boys having all F's and bs17 in Juvenile school due to lack of attendance. The boys' lives were a mess and I was given full custody without an eye bat from the judge.

However this sort of care is ongoing for my 15 yr old when he's over there still to this day. In our state a child has to be 18 to chose chose not to see a bio parent if it's in the co. I want my kids to have relationships with their dad but their dad seems to push them away and neglect them to the point where he'll be lucky if he ever sees them again after they're 18. His anger towards me and not letting go of the past (he blames ME for the split and divorce and says to the boys I left him to take care of everything. REALLY?) is what concerns me most, to the point where it might harm my bs15 in some way. What can I do?