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update - still here

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 7:53pm

I'm still here, am going to stay until we can get through cancer and counseling. I am giving this a last go. I told him and we signed a contract - as if a marriage license isn't enough - that if he contacts her again HE IS OUT ALONG WITH HIS SPAWN. If he was open to me about getting in touch with her about ss16 once in awhile that would be one thing but he is texting her and then keeping it a secret - so not good. I am curious what the counselor is going to say.

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oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 8:38pm

Good luck. You are a good person. Much nicer than me.

Because I am older I've been thru so much crap that all it takes is a straw to break the camel's back.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 9:07pm

I hope he's grateful, sterling. Yes, it's hard breaking up. Stay strong.

I'll be getting a little tipsy tonight and blogging on ST for a while....

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Fri, 07/05/2013 - 10:10pm

Thanks for your support. I HOPE we can work this out. Yes, the one text to his xgf was him saying he has put his cancer into remission, so he is talking about his cancer.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching over this past week. I came to very disconcerting conclusions...

1) I was evaluating my sheer dislike for ss16 and realized that it might be due to the fact that b/c of ss16 dh's xgf is still involved not only in his life but dh contacting her. So my anger is being displaced from DH to ss16. I don't think I'll ever like ss16 but at least it's making me see him differently and more civilly.

2) I think maybe I am so over sensitive about dh being in contact with xgf b/c it's almost like I am trying to find a reason to push him away. I have trust issues b/c of what my xh did to me, and it's almost like I want to be the first to do the pushing away before he can push me away.

I am not at all trying to excuse dh's contact with xgf but I am seeing how my reaction might be over kill. I don't like his secrecy... that's disconcerting also.