BMs Paranoid
I can't even.
Ever since DH pretty much went Gray Rock with BM, she has been a nightmare.
Recently, she has started addressing all of her texts and emails to ME. Ever since DH used a semi-colon one time in a text to her 2 years ago, she flipped out and immediately thought it was Me who sent it. Her reason is that DH would never use such punctuation in a text. And now, she addresses only me in the emails and texts that are sent to HIS EMAIL AND HIS PHONE. She thinks I am not showing them to hubby and that I'm the only one who has access to them. lol. We do discuss the content of what she sends, but it's ALLLLL HIM. lol.
It's really funny to me because she accused me of being paranoid (in a text to him BUT TO ME) and told me to get on meds for my paranoia.
well, honey-- I think that's called projection.
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I think I could deal with
I think I could deal with SS10 easier, if BM was not such a pain in the arse!
Do you have an SS10?
originally I asked if you had an Ss10 but I see you do. BOY do you have your hands full. Talk to me about SS10 and BM? I also have an Ss10 and I also would be able to handle him better if she weren't an idiot.
Between BM being crazy, SS
Between BM being crazy, SS learning her passive-aggressive ways and beginning every sentence with “I’m not trying to be mean but”, and FH having to be reminded that it’s okay for SS to be upset sometimes, that consequences and manners are needed, I think I need a vacation!!!
Do we have the same BM?
I had the exact same experience, except it was a word that DH used. She even said to him in reply, "I know your writing and you would never use that word!" The irony was, he showed me what he planned to say to her and I noticed the word myself, but it was all him.
DH once sent her a text saying that he thought it was important that they both tell the kids that they expected them to do their homework. Her reply, "She just needs to realize that I'm an excellent mother!"
I think now that BM knows that I'm probably reading the messages she sends, she's less likely to be crazy, but sometimes her crazy slips out.
In her latest email, she went to great lengths to say she preferred to only communicate with him in writing, as if it had been her idea. She seems to forgot that she fought that tooth and nail after it was added to their agreement, even going so far to tell him that she and her husband decided it would be child neglect if DH did not take all of BM's calls.
I think BM also thinks she's somehow "punishing" DH by not sharing information with him about his children, but she never shared any real information with him before, so it's no big loss that she now rarely communicates with him.
Oh I LOVE when it's THEIR
Oh I LOVE when it's THEIR idea lol! she is the one who said she was going to get Our Family Wizard through the courts. When we said we'd just do it now and pay for it she said NOPE. what a joke. get a hobby.
revisionist history
Was just going through old emails looking for something and found two from BM after they got it added to their parenting plan that they only communicate in writing. In both, she says that they just have too many important things to discuss and she does not have time to email or text "up to 5 times a day" to share things with DH.
She also sent another one later saying she had continued to talk with her husband, her family, her friends, and her lawyer about not having phone contact and she didn't want to take him back to mediation to address it, but she just might have to. That was after their mediation session that she demanded and then spent the whole time crying, pretending that she was going to be sick, and saying "why are you making me go through this?" - to which, DH pointed out to her, "you demanded that we have this mediation session."
In her second email (sent two years ago after they cut off phone contact), she then switches back to focusing in on me, saying how she always goes out of her way to be polite to both of us when she sees us and even though her husband knows "the whole history" he is always willing to wait for DH to come pick up the kids even though he shouldn't have to (this was what the mediation was about to adjust the pick-up time, because DH's job changed and he couldn't get there at 1pm in the afternoon, anymore). She then said that she hoped that some day, she and I could get to know one another and volunteer at school events together for the sake of the children. This is the same woman who told me I had no business going to parent conferences because "she's not family!" and how there was a chance I could be a child abuser (this was in response to her being angry that I wouldn't be her friend after she told all of her friends and family that I wanted to move next door to her, so that DH (whom I was not married to at the time) could stop paying child support).
I laughed when I read the part about her planning for us to chaperone field trips together...seriously, so ridiculous.
DH should ask himself
Are the text/emails necessary?
OR is bm using, none relavant to the child, texting and emails as a way to involved herself inside your home and make dh and you jump?
Some bms do this.
Good question: They are and
Good question: They are and aren't necessary. For example, her most recent email started out that SS10 left his folder at our house and needed it asap. Then the next 10 paragraphs (kid you not) were about how WE were to blame for the lice situation that was orginally brought to us by TwinSD6. 10 paragraphs. T-E-N. She will start out with something relevant and then move to something not.
DH replied in about two sentences. then she continued. on and on and on-- but of course, addressed to me. lol
Meh. In the beginning (I feel
Meh. In the beginning (I feel like an old dinosaur documentary whenever I start like this), BM thought it was me too because DH moved from texting to Email to cut out the B.S. She would start off with "Max, I know you are reading this so...." DH would tell me about it and he does usually forward any emails to me so we can discuss them and I know the context like Soccer practice and pick up schedules or if BM is sending someone else to pick up Skid. I finally straight up told her that when it comes from me, I will put my name in the close so there's no confusion for court. If anything I am nicer to BM than DH has ever been but in the beginning she really couldn't believe that his responses were from him, but that's because a narcissist can't fathom one of their victims to see them for who they really are. She couldnt believe he could figure her out and stop playing her games all on his own. But he did. In fact once I pointed out to him how easily she plays with him, he felt stupid and refuses to get sucked into her games.
So BM did this with SD(27att)
So BM did this with SD(27att)
SD was traveling to Europe and was keeping in contact through FB messenger. As long as she had wi-fi it was free. She told us when she landed and that she was on her way to her transfer. Once in Greece, where she was going to a friends Moms wedding she told us that the Mom was sending a car for her and she wouldn't have to wait for the ferry.
BM called DH in an absoulte panic! She didn't believe it was SD. SD used some word and BM swore that SD would NEVER use that word, she'd never used it in the past and it wasn't SD.
THAT ISN'T SD, SD HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED, I KNEW IT WAS A BAD IDEA FOR HER TO GO TO EUROPE. IF I NEVER SEE MY DAUGHTER AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU. IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT SHE WENT. YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HER. I BEGGED HER NOT TO GO.
Oh and it was our fault that she couldn't contact her because we refused to pay for her phone to roam Europe. BM said she would have paid for it, sure I believe that!
On and on and on it went. I called SDs roommate and got her to contact the girl who's Mom sent the car. A 5 min expensive phone call later, it was all good. SD was in the car, embarassed and not kidnapped!
BM even posted on SDs FB page that she was worried and that if ANYONE had seen SD PLEASE PLEASE MAKE SURE SHE CONTACTS ME!
I told SD to pick a code word that she could use with BM, so that BM would know for sure it was her.
Honestly, that woman needs to stop watching Taken over and over again!