Stepping Up, I admire you for 1) taking the initiative to try to clarify communication between the two of them and 2) making it work! I have tried to do that and am now unable to try again- BM's forthcoming petition will likely include a clause making it illegal for me to contact her. (All communications I've initiated with her, including the ones trying to be a neutral source in their communication issues, come under the heading of "Trying to Help" and have been blasted back at me with barrages of insults, name-calling, etc.... so not contacting her further is, for now, no big loss.)

It is frustrating to watch two people who cannot seem to get past themselves in order to communicate about the lives, activities, health, etc...of their children. My favorite is when there's some heated exchange going on and DH tells me he got too frustrated to even listen to the VM or read the text all the way through. The only way things are ever going to be better for us where BM's constant idiocy is concerned is to read for detail, then document every detail. DH gets frustrated over how analytical I am.

Good luck. Keep up the good work!

Good luck!! Your FDH probably does the same thing my DH does... when BM calls he somehow manages to pull the critical information (day, time, place) out of the pointless conversation that BM TRIES to have with him. I can't tell you how many times DH has mentioned something that BM said.. like most recently that she got a new job. I asked him if she was working 2 jobs or if she quit the other.. DH said "I don't know, I don't care, I don't listen to her, I hate her, I hate her voice, I just wait for her to get to the point of when she needs me to watch SS."

And THAT folks is what it all boils down to... DH is just a glorified babysitter for BM. SS12 rarely calls on his own to come over and hang out with his father, oh no, it's BM calling because she has to work her part time job and needs DH to "babysit" SS12. I would never say this to DH because I know it would hurt his feelings and I think he is blind to what is going on.

Anyway, sorry for going off on the tangent. Good luck with your BM contact, you are a better person than me, I would NEVER, EVER, have any contact with BM... EVER!

Our BM and I do everything with the schedule together. It works out pretty well for the most part we decide holidays and vacations together. DH really has no idea what is going on till I tell him. They also couldn't get along so I stepped in and it's been like this now for 4 years. It is VERY hard to keep your feelings out of it but just know that it is better for the kids to at least have someone from each family that can talk and get along. Good Luck I hope it works out just as well for you as it has for me!

Uugghh....See that is what pisses me off about these stupid ass BM's. WTF? It's INCONVENIENT for you to have your kid 5 out of 7 days? REALLY now? Ignore the fluff as allgirls stated. Stick to the schedule. Screw her plans and her INCONVENIENCE, as it doesn't seem to matter much to her if she is INCONVENIENCING you is it?? AARRGGHH!!!