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I'm tired and I don't know how much more I can handle!

StepmomDisgstd's picture

Submitted by StepmomDisgstd on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 6:57am

Just a little vent before I start my Monday. SD10 has not been over for the last 2 scheduled visitations. So I have not had to deal with her for a whole month. BM texted DH late last night. He tells me " BM wants "us" to keep SD tomorrow night. Well she didnt say us because in her mind I don't exist after 5 years of marriage to DH. That was his way of editing what she really said. I didn't reply. A look of total defeat was on my face. Later he asked why I didnt answer or say anything about SD staying on Monday night. I told him He didn't ask me a question ; he just told me what BM wanted. And obviously What BM wants BM gets. I have nothing to say or anything to do with it. He is working nights so I will be the one here with SD. I don't want to fight with DH because I'm sure that's just what BM wants. I'm just so tired of all of them. I really love DH and when SD is not around everything is great. I just wish he would stop allowing BM to use him and in turn he uses me as a not so glorified brat sitter. :?

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 7:53am

I agree with what CW said. The kid needs to be spending time with Dad. If he cannot watch her, she doesn't come or he finds alternate arrangements.

" in her mind I don't exist after 5 years of marriage to DH."

Be forewarned that this may never change.

tryingtobecalm's picture

Submitted by tryingtobecalm on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:12am

Yeh you could just say it innocently like 'oh, I thought you were working tomorrow night?' then when he says 'I am' then you just look puzzled and say 'So how can u spend time with SD? Would it not be better that she comes when you can see her too?' That way youre not being argumentative but ur putting the thought there. Maybe that line of reasoning hasnt even occured to him. If you plant the idea he might think ''actually yeh I wanna see my daughter''. One of my favourite lines from a film is 'the man may be the head but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head anyway she likes'. Hang in there honey

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 9:46am

I agree with everyone above. Visitation is between child and their parent. If he can't be available to take care of SD, she doesn't come over, period.