Three years ago the bm lost her mind and children and youth told us to come get the kids because they were living in another state.The bm said she could not deal with the kids anymore because they were driving her crazy and she was also using drugs.Bm is diagnosed with bipolar and a borderline personality disorder.While children were living with her she was living in a homeless shelter with the kids and was using drugs with the kids around.She was a stripper and would leave the kids with all sorts of weirdos at night.My husband and I were unaware of what was going on because we only seen the kids every two months because they lived so far and she told them not to tell us anything over the phone.He paid her child support and she used it all on drugs.She has always alienated her oldest because she said the oldest reminded her of my husband and she didnt like that.She has said when she looks at her she see's red and was scared she was going to hurt her own child.She has called and she seen and heard people that were not there and they were telling her to kill herself.She has attempted to kill herself many times.She Would give the kids benadryl at night to make them go to sleep.She never made them brush their teeth so when they moved with us they both had to have fake teeth put in because theyre teeth were so rotted away.She never disciplined the kids and let them run around and do what ever they wanted because she was to lazy to deal with them.When the kids moved in theyre behavior was horrible and they have gotten 90 percent better but we still have work to do.She let them drink soda at night and all day and she was just such a bad mom.Her own parents reported her to children and youth and when they went to file for custody she accused her own father of raping her and the kids.She even told her daughter to lie and say he touched her or she will never see mommy again.The daughter told us nothing ever happen and mommy made it up.This has hurt both children mentally and were in thearapy.We had an idea of what was going on because BM kept calling my husband in the middle of the night crying ,and saying I love you,I miss You so we called children and youth and they said she was on her medication and she was trying her hardest to be good mom.Then a month later she calls and said you need to get the kids now because I am going in the hospital and children and youth call saying the same.When they first came here she called 40 times a day ,acting crazy,saying keep the kids away from my father he will rape them and kill them,and crying and saying she wanted her husband back and he should divorce me.Then she started saying weird things to the kids,saying that mommy is dying and is in the hospital or poppop is going to hurt you.She was questioning them about school ,me n their father,and cursing on the phone,telling them i am not their real mother and dont ever call me mommy.The children used to get upset and hang up on her so we took a break from awnsering our phone when she called and she lost it.She threatened to kill my husband and I if we didnt awnser the phone because shes a great mom and we are hurting the kids by keeping them from their mother.So we finally went to the cops and had harrasment charges put against her and she stopped for awhile.She calmed down a bit but still said weird things from time to time.still calling drunk.The oldest decided she didnt want to talk to her so we didnt force her.The youngest talked to her about twice a week.She ended up not showing up for a hearing for the charges and they put a warrant out for her arrest and this happen the first year they were living here and she still has not taken care of the warrant because she said she cant go to jail for 24 hours because she needs her medicine.She claims she stopped doing drugs 2 years ago but from what we were told that is a lie.She has never paid child support even tho we filed they could never get a good address on her.She said she cant work because she has cancer which end up being another lie.she constantly tell the kids she is sending presents never does and tells us she will send money but then says she got robbed.She got remarried to some marine a couple of months ago after knowing him for 6 months.She all of a sudden thinks she is better now and deserves for us to send the kids to her state because she has a warrant in ours.She says we made everything up and we are liars but we have every text message and voicemail ever sent saved.She claims she never had a mental illness and the kids were raped and she is a great mother and have never done anything to them.We just want to protect them from her,she is crazy and Kids should not be around crazy people.She hasnt seen them in three years and never has asked to see them and never helped us and somehow I am the bad guy she say I convinced her kids she is a bad mom,she did that on her own.We never talk bad about her,we just tell the truth because they know she has a mental illness because she has told them in the pass and now that they are getting older its hard to lie to them.I just cant beleive she thinks she is all better now because she got married to a guy in the marines and got a house out of it and thinks the kids should go with her.I dont even know if she really wants the kids or she is just trying to put on an act for her new husband so he doesnt think shes a bad mom,because she has never shown interest in them before.She talks on the phone with the youngest once a week now and the older one doesnt want to talk to her.This was the first year she ever sent presents and she admitted it was because her husband has money so she has money now.She wont give us her address to file for child support or custody so we said to her you go file for custody and she just wont go file.There has never been any legal custody written in court because she never showed interest in the kids till now and knows she wont win.It drives me crazy because I am the one who has cared for the kids for 3 years and acted as a mother while she was no where to be found and she tells everyone that we keep them from her when thats far from true because she never asked to see them.The truth is she shouldnt see them she has cause so much emotional damage in their life and has neglected them,just because you talk to them on the phone doesnt mean your a good mother.I am great mom to them and were a happy family and I love them with all my heart and dropped my life so I could be a good mom to them and it kills me to know that such a horrible person could be involved in their life again ,even if its supervised visitation,it just scares me what she will try to put in their head and convince them because she is nuts.She didnt file yet nor do I know she will even try but it just hurts me so much because they are my life.She wont admit she did anything wrong and still says she was always a good mom to them and that she isnt mentally ill and never was and were big fat liars.So what do we do the childrens thearapist said to stop awnsering the phone when she calls because it is not helping the kids at all.They dont ask to call her or ever talk about her or say i miss mommy.Should we stop contact and just wait for her to file custody if she ever does.Should we file custody or will that just cause more problems because we know she will not come here to try an get the kids.Please help because my husband does not know what to do he is scared if stops awnsering the phone it will make him look bad if she takes us to court but others are telling us it wont.