Please advise on how to handle sd....
My husband(bf)has recently been given custody of 1 of his three children. I (sm) have 1 daughter of my own. The sd (age 15)comes from a home where the bm allowed her to do anything she wanted and now the sd believes she can do the same in our house.
I am at wit ends because there are two set of rules for each girl. Anytime I talk to my husband about his daughter he gets very defensive. I see many things that her father does not and it's not good for her as well as for my own daughter.
We came to find out she has a boyfriend and she also is involved with a gang. I have spoken to her as her mother and step mother hoping to create a bond but to no avail.
She is rude to my family, never greeting them when she enters their house. My family copes with her and her father because of me but they can not take it much longer.
I don't know how much longer I can take of this because her father and I are not speaking due to these issues.
I believe we should have the same rules for both girls but my sd's father allows her to mistreat him. He is afraid she will run away.
Any suggestions?
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Well first of all...is she
Well first of all...is she really in a gang? That is dangerous for everyone in your house. Most teenagers that join gangs are lacking something at home. She definitely needs rules. Unfortunately DH is going to have to be the one to step it up. He sounds like a guilty parent. Any way you could get them to try family counseling?
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
" my sd's father allows her
" my sd's father allows her to mistreat him. He is afraid she will run away."
That mentality should really concern you. This gives a 15 year old power. She is now in control of your household. If your husband doesn't want his child to do whatever she wants whenever she wants, he'll take that control back from her. She is never going to respect him if he continues letting her be the boss because she's scared she'll run away. Welcome to the site.
"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."