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Feeling a bit down

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:16pm

Right now I should be so excited DH and I are getting ready to move into our home we built. But I just feel down. Part of me just wants to cry. Nothing is really happening other then the stress of a loan and house. I am stressed about giving BM our new address (DH legally has to) and all the craziness she will start once she sees the house. I am just down and I have no idea why.

Comments

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:26pm

I'm so sorry. It's one thing to worry about the loan, but it's sad to not feel any excitement and only dread.

Does she have to see the house? Can you meet at a neutral location for drop offs and pick ups?

What can BM actually do about you guys moving into a new place? Will she try to get more cs?

I was worried about us getting a new car, but two weeks later BM got a new car too.

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:37pm

They are some place else most of the time one drops off at school and the other picks up. Yeah CS or anything. I am just kind of down and I don't know why

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:31pm

Stepmom, do not let BM take away any of your joy from your new home. I know it's easier said than done but please try. You should be excited. Worrying over BM is a waste of energy and it won't change her behavior. This you and DH'S home and life together. F*ck her.

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:41pm

Part of what I am sad about is I let BM make my pregnancy and birth of my son so stressful. She wanted to add all these stipulations in the custody agreement the moment she found out I was pregnant. The week before my wedding she started demanding SS see the therapist and we had to find one as well as take him to them that week. I just feel like I missed out on so much joy because I get so stressed over everything

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 4:32pm

You can't change the past. I get what you're saying. Now, don't get upset, hear me out. You said you let her make your pregnancy and birth of your son so stressful. Key words are "I let..."

I'm not throwing stones, I have done the same thing (changing my wedding date a few times because of the stress I allowed myself to feel - no child). It hit me one day that I was not going to allow BM to affect my happiness. I would respond as if she didn't exist. Went ahead and did what I wanted, marrying DH, and have been very happy, sometimes blissfully so. The situation didn't change. BM didn't change. I changed my outlook and my response.

I'm sure that I am not explaining myself well. I'm on this phone with a few more hours of work. Just know that you deserve to be happy and enjoy your life, marriage, son and your new home.

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 3:43pm

They are some place else but she is known to drive by our home and take pictures. She is creepy and stalkery sometimes.

SilverPetra's picture

Submitted by SilverPetra on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 4:03pm

If I could send champagne, I would! Congratulations on your new home.

You can't control BM's stalker-y ways, but you can work on shutting down the fear you feel.

She doesn't have dominion. Your home. *Your* home. You don't have to let her cross the threshold - in mind or body.

In the meantime, have you considered anxiety counselling/CBT and/or a low level of medication?

In an ideal world, you could banish the b1tch, but without a magic wand, she's a part of SS's world, which spills into yours on the fringes.
Don't let her steal any more of your life. Enjoy loving your new home. Only happy thoughts. (Except for the odd fantasy regarding BM's torture/abduction by aliens with *enormous* probes)

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 4:08pm

Thanks Smile and yeah I recently started talking to someone I honestly stress about being stressed

SilverPetra's picture

Submitted by SilverPetra on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 4:12pm

There's a lot of it about. I'm on citalopram, it takes enough of an edge off the stress to get a grip on the reality of things.
Whatever happens, I hope you can fill your new home with love and happiness. <3

HappilySelfish679's picture

Submitted by HappilySelfish679 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 4:34pm

Wohooo I LOVE when BM comes to my house for pick up and sees my flower filled beautiful front yard ! I have the nicest front yard and when I know BM has to show up I make it look extra nice ( all mowed and watered and pretty ) . I make sure she sits out there in the parking lot for a while to take it all in .

Aww I don't have a nice view when I drop skids at her ghetto rental .

Enjoy your new home !!!!!

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Mon, 02/08/2016 - 7:01pm

I love how it's all about her and her Golden Uterus on Father's day. And you and DH should feel guilty for working hard and being successful. Both of you should just take jobs to get by and not have lawns tended by minions. It's all your fault that she has chosen her situation. Sob, sob.

Stepmom09's picture

Submitted by Stepmom09 on Tue, 02/09/2016 - 11:15am

Thank you everyone for your support. I am trying to just dust off and move forward. And everyone will be happy to know I am see my therapist tonight.