There are days I wish my husband wasn't able to read my posts on Facebook, so that I could truly vent about my SD17 to my friends. At least I still have here.

I haven't posted since September of last year. Some things have improved, other things are still the same, but I have done all that I can to distance myself so that I don't stress myself out.

However, I noticed that when I posted last, I was discussing my SD16's push to drive.

She failed her first driving test in March, and re-took it in April, after also insisting of having a "refresher course". She passed her test, albeit the administrator said she could have gone either way, and wasn't truly road ready.

Our SS18 has been using my commuter car since he turned 18. The day after receiving her license, SS17 of course was hot on the button (like most teens) to want to drive, even though she was told that her mom was to provide a car for her. She turned on the sickeningly sweet smile, asked her father and I if she could go to the mall "to look for jobs" and take the car. I gave her gas money.

I get a phone call hours later that she's nowhere where she was supposed to be, and caused an accident. She insists the brakes didn't work (they were replaced the week prior), and her boyfriend was with her. She hit 2 cars and totaled our car.

Since then, she has not ONCE apologized. It's everyone else's fault, the accident would have happened regardless of where she was at, etc. The little thing even had the nerve to put it back on us, talking like a snotty entitled brat - "glad you're worried if I was ok or not". Yeah, we worried about that, and when we found out you were just fine, then anger set in. I found out that day the $15 I gave her for gas money - only $10 was used, so I took the $5 back out of her account. I got lambasted by BOTH her and DH for it - that I was so petty, how dare I put her in a situation to embarrass her when she went to buy fast food and there was no money there. I told them both - it wasn't HER money to begin with, and why should I reward someone that lied and caused so much damage? The idea WAS to embarrass her - so that she would learn a lesson or two about lying.

(She caused over $4500 in damage to both cars, totaled ours - we got $400 for it for scrap.) Oh, and no discussion as to how she should pay back ANY of it.

Still, to this day, no accountability. Still, to this day, tries to ask if she can borrow OUR car. Hell to the NO. DH at least knows that I will walk out if he even thinks of allowing her to, but it's not much comfort considering the entire situation.

On the other end of things, he says "I'm too hard on my opinion of her". Gee, well, when was the last time she gave me something positive to work with?

I had to constantly remind BOTH kids to get their father something for Father's Day - using their own money. They got cards the night before. Sigh. He may not care that much, but I've always been sensitive and hurt that I'm an afterthought, doesn't matter if you're a teenager or not.

I blame BOTH of her parents - DH and BM. Can't expect a child to become a responsible adult if your restrictions are barely a "talking to" and one day of tantrums. Bad grades? Teacher's fault. Late for school? Brother's fault for not waking her up. Late for class? Had to do my makeup. Failed your math final because you had your cell phone in class? "they should have warned me waaahh" (warning started your freshman year of high school, you are a junior now). Parents allow the excuses.

I actually fear for her mental health. I don't think it's just teen behavior. Between the pathological lying to get what she wants (learned that from BM), her attention seeking behavior with men, her utter lack of regard for anything but herself... yes, it's teen behavior, but this just seems off the charts.

She has a tumultuous relationship with her boyfriend, who from the surface seems to be a normal kid with exception of those little things any parent doesn't care for. Since I still to this day snoop, I see that SD17 is constantly fighting with him (bi-polar style). The moment they break up, she's on dating sites looking for attention.

Most recent site: "f-buddies"... posing as a 22-year old. Classy. Boyfriend finds out, tells her she's acting like a slut (and other not so nice things), she texts DH last night claiming he hit her and wants to press charges. Sends DH a picture of her with a band-aid over her eye... no bruise, no swelling, nothing - and because I have snooped, this picture was taken a week ago, but she's claiming it happened yesterday. Even her brother and mom call BS on it, and therefore she goes to the next person to tell her BS story to.

...and that's horrible for ANY woman that has legitimate claims of domestic violence. I actually wanted to believe her. Sad thing is, her mother has pulled the same stunts. Wonder where she learned it, once again.

In the past, I have brought all of these things to the attention of DH. He either doesn't want to deal with it, shrugs it off, or tries to be her "friend" in handling it. Case in point - SD17 snuck and got a tattoo. Her boyfriend apparently has a friend that does them, therefore bypassing the legalities of getting a tattoo. She was posting it on Twitter like an idiot (it's in a provocative location). I tell SS18 first, thinking maybe he can talk sense into her... and she literally lies saying "it's just a Sharpie". DH is informed, and does the friend approach "if you wanted one I could have at least taken you so that we made sure it was done in a safe place".

Really?

There are times that between me wanting someone to take control (as well as my hate of the BM), that I want to forward every possible thing to her (via email) that her daughter has been doing (most behind her back too). It's diabolical because I would have to do it anonymously. I want to say "proud?".

...and to top it all off, as one graduates, and we have one more year left with SS17, I find out I'm pregnant.

SS18 - happy.
SD17 - could give a shit.

It's sad that I have such disdain for this girl... I'm not the type that can hide my feelings... I literally don't look forward to her coming over for her weekends, and I don't look forward to her coming for her mandatory month over the summer, and I don't look forward to her going on a trip with us to his family's house... it's basically like being forced to hang out with someone you have no respect for. When we have people in our life like this - we just cut them out.

Is it bad that I can't wait for the real world to kick her in the ass and knock her down a notch?