Your marriage ceremony is between you and your husband. His children are not part of the vows or reason for the ceremony. It is to bind the two of you. His kids are not required. 

To involve family. Getting married involves the union ofn2 families and to promote a positive relationship is why alot invite close direct family members.

i had a simple wedding, hubbys family were invited as we are close with them and so was ss, sd’s were no contact and had disappeared with bio mum so there was ni way of contacting them.

my marriage celebrant asked who my parents were and asked i hugged them, it was just part of starting thing soff well.

as horrible as steplife is, you are creating more hell and ammo for crazy exwife by doing things hush2 and not inviting skid(s) to be involved in the wedding. If they are on good terms with you and respectful and excited, why shove them to the side like they are never gonna be apart of your household or family unit because that is often how they will see and feel it.

there is a common saying that when you marry, you marry the family too. Its like you accept there are good and bad things about your spouse and there will be issues but thats the nature of family, its his job to address the issues and conflicts with his family.

also for most parents, their child marrying is a special day they can’t wait to be a part of, its enough for some to completely disown and end contact with a child who thought they would marry in secret and not involve their parents. When the going gets rough with your spouse and in life, often we rely on friends and family too. 

Why sabotage that link from day 1 and start things in a negative way. This is coming from me who had a narcissistic abusive mother throughout my childhood and an egotistical self centred father and a dysfunctional family, i wanted my conscience clear.

its a totally different story if everyone is effin crazy, abusive  or criminals etc, then i’d understand but if they’re lovely people, you don’t have to do an expensive fancy shindig. My husband is quite well off and we did a simple garden wedding ceremony, it was different and unique but what we wanted. There were those criticising us missing certain cultural ceremonies but we didn’t have the time to piss around with these unimportant ceremonies

Who cares what the rest of the family thinks? Why not have a big party with them when you get back? Make sure you bring them back something nice from your destination.

Congratulations!

You guys are paying - you guys decide everything.  End of.

Congratulations

I just got engaged myself last week!  We should have a celebratory glass of champagne! 
 

My fiancé and I are getting married locally, but for a lot of our friends and family - about half of our small wedding guest list - it's a destination wedding as they are scattered about.  
 

We are having kids there - the skids (all teens) and my sisters kids (8-16).  That said, I didn't make it a point to invite anyone else who is local's kids.  I figured most kids don't need to be at a wedding party, and certainly not the after party.  But if someone feels their little poopsies really need to be there, I'm not that concerned.  I will be putting away all valuables at the after party, but that's more due to my fiancé's friends.*blum3*

But again - it's your wedding and these things are expensive even if you are trying to be low key.  If you don't want kids, don't have them.  Ultimately, who cares?  I just don't understand people who get all bent out of shape that someone doesn't want to spend another $50+ to feed their kids who don't really care and just get bored.

Congrats!

Count on Crazy making sure the kids aren't there and plan accordingly.

Congratulations!! I think with destination weddings you need to have a legal ceremony at home anyways, don’t you? So the ‘actual’ wedding would be at home, and you could invite skids, then do the destination wedding kid free & not feel the slightest hint of guilt whatsoever. Not that you should feel guilty anyways, but this makes it a win win for everyone

Well I see both sides. if step kids really do like you and are excited about the marriage then there is some thought to involving them in the proceeds. However, it's good for a couple to have alone time, especially on their wedding and their honeymoon and things like this.

My wedding was the former.. People on my side of the family. Mother, sister. I recently had a chance to look at the wedding photos and I notice my mother look ill, sad, and just not happy at my wedding! My sister stayed through the ceremony but then she retreated to her room claiming she had to take a long 3 hour bath, something about jet lag. SO and 3 steps were there as well. We rented a palatial home, a very nice one, in the Orlando area to to get all this done. It had a beautiful cute inner courtyard that was perfect for the ceremony. Relatively small ceremony but we had catering, a photographer, and an officiant come out to location.

I thought at the time that it was a beautiful idea to involve the kids so that we could all be one happy family... but I was naive then. I really did buy into the hype that we could just be a happy family. Much heartache and sadness and tears over the years has proven me wrong. 

It was a fairly kid-centric wedding and honeymoon. I mean we went to Disney later since we were in the area anyway. In hindsight, I do concede that maybe it should have been more centered around the couple instead of the whole family. I think that was the beginning of setting a precedent of putting the stepkids ahead of the marriage, which didn't end out well for me at all.

But yeah, I think you could do both. You could include them in the hometown and then go elope and then just jokingly say yeah we eloped if someone asks.

Congratulations, hon! Remember you must always feel counted, valued, and respected!