Today begins week 4 -- the final -- of SD8's month with us. I had envisioned this month being COMPLETELY different than it has turned out. My husband & I naively thought that we'd have a month with SD8 to enjoy our time with her, take her on weekend trips, play games, etc. A month without SD8 acting like a mini BM because she'd be away from her. We could work on her manners, rudeness, hygiene, etc.

But of course this didn't happen. If you've been reading my blogs, you know why...BM's constant interference. Calling almost every other day to remind SD8 of how much fun they'll be having in August, bragging about an "awesome" birthday gift she bought SD8, etc. BM's jealous & insecure & obviously doesn't want SD8 to enjoy her time with us. Which really stinks because we won't do this to BM during her time with SD8.

So we've done the best with our time with SD8, but BM's interference means that SD8 couldn't escape the mini BM behavior. (Which means WE couldn't escape it, either!) And if we didn't answer the phone, BM would call repeatedly from different phone numbers trying to trick us into answering. And BM's been emailing SD8, so we just limit her computer time to a few times a week. We're seriously considering either cutting off SD8 from email or the internet, period.

Yesterday, SD8 was OBSESSING over checking her email. My husband told her no, but eventually gave in just before bedtime because BM had just called & talked to SD8 for like 20 minutes. He felt like, what the hell is the difference? BM has taken over this night with SD8. I think my husband needs to check on SD8's email account to see what BM is saying because when we quiz SD8 about why checking her email is so urgent, she makes up vague reasons. She wouldn't even tell us WHO she is getting emails from, then after our badgering said it was mostly from BM & "her family" (SD8's family, which means BM's parents). Yeah, I think email needs to be cut off soon at our house!

Here are some "highlights" from "our" month with SD8...

When SD8 got to our house, she told me that I should make up a calendar of what we're having for dinner every day for the entire month. (!) Of course, I didn't do that, so every day after summer camp, SD8 will walk into the house & ask me, "What's for dinner?". No hello first. Some days, she would walk into the kitchen, look at the stove & then ask. It drives me crazy! Though after I bit her head off the other day, she's stopped asking. I think she asks my husband on the ride home instead!

SD8 has gotten worse about keeping herself entertained. (As if that was even possible!) If it's not TV, the computer or the Wii, she doesn't do anything. And since we limit that stuff, we end up with SD8 sitting in the room with us, staring at us. I'm not kidding. The other day I was talking to my brother on the phone & SD8 sat there & stared at me the entire time. The worst is that my husband will tell her not to sit there & stare at us, to go do something & SD8 will ignore him. And he lets her get away with it! I just want to smack him because he's making it worse! She learned that staring bullshit from BM. When BM isn't getting her way, she stares at people, like it's going to either intimidate them or make them feel bad. I cannot stand it. When SD8 does it, I ignore her at first, but after a while, I YELL at her to go to her room. My husband needs to do this!

About a week ago, SD8 advised us that she was bored with the snacks we've been giving her for summer camp. I was ready to explode (this has been an on-going issue for years), but instead asked her to make a list of snacks she would actually eat because in the past we had a lot of problems with SD8 wasting food. SD8 has yet to make the list. And I find it amusing that she gets bored with the snacks we rotate when we just barely broke her of eating honey on toast for breakfast EVERY morning for the past 6 months!

SD8's bossiness...she's always been bossy, but it's getting worse & worse. An 8-year-old isn't supposed to tell ADULTS what to do & how to do it. But SD8 does. I don't put up with it, but my husband does most of the time. It drives me crazy. She ORDERS us around like we're her slaves. I either ignore her, tell her that she's being rude or remind her to ASK, say please & thank you, etc. My husband will usually just do whatever she wants. I guess this is from years of BM doing the same thing, lol. When we went to Six Flags last weekend, SD8 would want to go on a certain ride, so we'd tell her it was this way & start walking in that direction. Well, SD8 would have to consult the map first. She would make a big production out of it & take forever, meaning we had to stand there & wait on her, just like she likes. (She likes making people wait for her, just like BM does.) At one point, the ride was literally right in front of us & SD8 still had to look at the map! My husband & I finally put a stop to the whole map thing at that point!

Now it's time to wrap this rant up with SD8's hair. God only knows the last time it was cut or trimmed. It looks AWFUL. A few months ago, we mentioned to SD8 that it was time for a haircut for the summer. (Her hair is long & thick, so it gets hot.) SD8 seemed fine with that idea. Well, I guess she mentioned it to BM because BM then sent my husband an email about how SD8 likes her hair long & doesn't want it cut. She went on & on with how SD8's hair is her own & she shouldn't be told what to do with it. Fine. So we dropped it. But then we would go through the daily chore of getting knots out of SD8's hair & SD8 sometimes crying because it was so bad. (Keep in mind that at our house, SD8 washes her hair every other day & uses detangler daily, but at BM's house ???)

So my husband would get fed up with the knots & tell SD8 that she needed a haircut (at least a trim!). SD8 wouldn't say anything. The last time I mentioned her getting a haircut, SD8 shot me the look of death, so I thought, fine, but I'm not dealing with this then. So when we eat, I don't even look at SD8. I can't stand to see her hair hanging in her food. My husband finally got her to put her hair up when she eats dinner. The whole thing is nasty. Yesterday morning she came to the table with hair everywhere. I finally told her that she looked like the bus driver from South Park! (Not that she knows who that is.) But seriously, put a bird's nest in her hair & there you go.

It's just such a shame because when SD8's hair is just above her shoulders, she looks so adorable. You can see her features. People always comment on how cute she looks with short hair. My husband & I make a big deal of being able to see her cute face whenever she puts her hair up. Unfortunately, though, BM wants SD8 to be a mini her & have long, nasty looking hair just like her. (BM calls SD8 "mini me") So, she's obviously convinced SD8 to not cut her hair. So most of the time, SD8 looks like a mini goth/zombie. (Really pale with dark hair) I laugh in the morning when I see her because she really does look/act like she's in a horror movie. ZOMBIE!!!

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thanks for reading my ranting. It feels good to get this off my chest!