After all the doubt our attorney planted, a judge did grant us an ex parte for extrodinary relief giving us SD until further order of the court. DH and I feel so much better that now we have proof that we are trying to do the right thing and it we will not be going into to the hearing on Monday in contempt.

He said he was not sure the judge was going to grant it, as he read it he rolled his eyes a few times. Then he says the judge asked him if he had BM's attorney's # and when attorney gave it to the judge he listened as the judge called BM's attorney himself and told him to tell BM not to attempt to pick up Sd today and she will have to wait for the hearing on Monday.

We're not getting our hopes up too much yet though. We know we have long road ahead. This is just one step in the right direction if one judge understood enough of our concerns from our affidavits.

Before he had filed it yesterday, attorney called me and said he had spoken to BM's attorney and he said they anticipate the hearing on Monday to be long because they have a long list of witnesses. Huh????? Dh and I have absolutely NO IDEA what they have witnesses to! We haven't done anything for them to testify against us. We are trying to prepare ourselves to hear a lot of lies. Did I mention BM told her attorney she had not driven SD at all since her license was suspended July 30. Ha!! She is so full of it! I can't wait to show the judge the pictures.

Her attny told ours that both She and DH have "quite a record against them", I did two background checks on DH, only shows a misdemeanor for when he got pulled over for warrents for speeding tickets, and that was 9 years ago! Now, if they are trying to bring up any records from when he was a juvinile, they may, but what does that prove? He is now 28, married, has a child, a house, two jobs, and a great relationship with his friends and family, a majority of whom are going to be in the courtroom on Monday in support. BM's criminal record is from the first of this year.

Attorney says he talked to the family court services and it may be another 3-6 months before we are assigned a caseworker to do our social study. I sure hope our judge on Monday will rule to protect SD by keeping her with us until a caseworker can report whether or not BM's lifestyle is at least safe for SD. And I do hope we will be able to suggest counseling be orderd for BM at Monday's hearing. I get kinda emotional when I think of how aweful it would be to have your mother beat you up, even as an adult. I just know there must be some serious unresolved issues BM does not want to deal with and that could be the reason for her destructive behaviour. But from what I understand, if we ask for a psychological evaluation on her, we have to pay for it. Probably about $1,800. If the judge Monday doesn't order it, our next chance will be in the social study. I had a chance to talk to a woman who used to work for CPS in another county and she said when the caseworker comes to talk to us that we should definitly ask him or her to request the psychological evaluation and drug testing. She says the worst they can do is say no.

Well, gotta get busy on the list of people we will have at the hearing and what they will be able to testify to. Just in case. Dh and I are still praying that the judge gets a clear enough picture just by the eveidence we have presented in the petition. We have seen this judge a couple of times before and as tough as she is, we really do like her. The first time we saw her she ripped DH a new one and told me to run. (we weren't married yet) Then when we were back in front of her with BM, she gave BM a firm talking to about taking responsibility for herself, getting out of her mom's house etc. Bm told her she was trying to but "all those medical bills from when SD was born I'm having to pay all by myself." Boo Hoo! SD was over a year old then. I sure hope the judge remembers us at least a little. Bm is not taking care of herself any better now, actually worse. And those medical bills, well if she is paying them now they are for her boob job! Not to mention her the $87 per month she has to pay in a surcharge to the state for 3 years, and if she does want an occupational license to drive legally within the next year, she has to pay for an interlock in her car.

That has been an eye opener for Dh and myself about how serious drinking and driving would be. Dh and I really don't drink very often, never have, but since Bm's mom beat her up I personally have made it a point not to drink at all. I have had only one glass of wine since the first of August. I feel like since BM and her mom called on us unexpectedly to help SD, I need the security of knowing I have no alcohol in my system just in case. My not drinking is not just for that though, Dh and I are hoping for a baby in the not too distant future. I think thinking about that is helping me keep my sanity.

I was a wreck last night. It sunk in that all the weight of this court stuff is on me. Dh came home upset that I spent $85 at Target. The only thing I bought for me was a $6 shirt and a $7 pair of boots on clearance. Then I started to tell him how I do think it would be a good idea for us to take SD to a counselor at least once because she has been an emotional wreck the past two days, he turned on me like I was just trying to spend more money.:( He might as well have slapped me in the face because it hurt that much. I do know however, he is the one who has the level head financially, and I am the emotional one.I would have us in the poor house already if it weren't for him, because I will spend whatever it takes for SD, all on emotional impulse. We work well together because we balance eachother out. Usually his first response to anything that involves spending money is always negative, unless it is for his truck. I'll give it a couple of days and he will process and tell me how he feels about counseling for SD. Just like all here, I was struk once again with the reality hammer that says "you are not the 'real' parent. You have no legal rights, even if you are just trying to help this child. And just so you know, you may never be appreciated for how much of you it costs to be a step-mom." Well, that's what my reality hammer tells me. Makes me sad, but I can't dwell on it too long. We have a hearing on Monday.

Thank you to all for your support and prayers. I know it makes a difference.