So I can see that maybe I'm just paranoid, but I always get such good honest feedback from all of you.

Here's the question, then the explanation.

Is it dangerous for 4yo SD to be with BM when BM has no phone,(house or cell) and no car?

My thoughts are that means if there is an emergency, BM cannot take SD to safety or the emergency room, and she does not have a phone to call for help. That to me is dangerous for SD.

Thursday night was the longest night I've had in a while, worrying about my little sd at BM's.

BM arrived 20 min late to pick her up, acting a little crazy as usual. SHe was driven over by a "friend" in a car I've never seen. When she came in I casually asked who's car it was and she replied,"oh it's just my friend's"

Sd was in her room hiding from BM. BM invited me to a yard sale she and her friend were going to have. When BM got SD to come out, SD asked her where her car was and BM told her it's in the shop. I asked if something broke on it, she once again was very vague and said there's a lot of things wrong with it and she's getting rid of it. She told me her "friend" already has a down payment for her to put on another car and he's taking her to a car auction.

I walked them out and told BM DH and I would call in the morning to let her know we are on our way to get SD. BM stoped and said, "Oh yeah, you know I couldn't pay my tmobile bill cause it was like 300 so I got that pay as you go phone but somebody stole it so you won't be able to call me."

SHe told me she hopes someone will be coming out of the gate of the apartments so we can get in and when she was explaining how she's been having trouble waking up she said she might just leave the door unlocked. luckily she took it back and said she wouldn't do that.

WHile she was telling me that, sd came and stood next to me. Then BM said "okay SD, it's time to go." Poor little SD had the sadest look on her face and she shook her head no and pointed at me and her baby sister. Bm had to pick her up and take her to the car.

I know I would have absolutly no right to do it, but it took everything in me not to scoop SD up and tell BM she would just have to wait and pick her up when she gets her life together.

Thursday was hard, but it was only overnight. This thursday BM gets her and keeps her until Monday morning. I don't think I can handle worrying about it that long.

DH and I were discussing maybe telling BM that we are not comfortable with SD staying over there when they have no way to get help if they need it and we would be happy to give her the time back when she gets a phone.

What's your opinion?

Dh and I are also talking about buying a phone like they have for kids, that can only call certain numbers and 911 and having BM take it when she has SD and returning it when we get her back. Our fear there is that she'll just lose it or pawn it.

Thanks,

Shell