I have finally got a hold on the situation with BM. She is always going to wish that she was me. She is always going to wish that BF loved her as much as he loves me, she is always going to wish BF supported her like he supports me. I understand that no matter the situation she will have no logical stance on anything. That in her eyes a single mother of 24 who has smoked since age 13 resulting in her looking 35 at least, who barely graduated high school, and who sleeps around while drinking any alcohol in sight is always going to be better than a college graduated law student, with extraordinary mothering instincts, and a heart and mind that would do anything for SD2. She is always going to find something that in her messed up mind makes her better than me and BF. And you know what I am finally ok with it. Why am I trying to compete? I love my life, I am living my dream of becoming a lawyer to help other single dad's get the time the deserve. I am with a man I love. Sure it hurts that he had a child with another woman, but it isn't like it was because he loved her. And why should SD have to suffer just because her parents were not expecting her. I am so lucky to have a SD I love that loves me, to have a future husband that just wants me to be happy, and to be stress free since I know that it doesn't get better than this. So all I have to say to BM now is, go ahead do what you want soon enough we will have SD2 and that's all we want! A time will come when SD is old enough to choose who to live with, and even then I am confident she will choose to still live in the loving household we have made for her. So much for the selfish mom, oh well.