I would have left the room and gone to DH's nap spot. I would have awakened him, saying "Your child needs his clothes thrown out and he needs to be scrubbed by an adult. Oh, and I am now the warden of computers/video games. Kid gets 30 minutes a day, maximum. The end."

Oh, before I left kid's room I would have unplugged the device he was on.

Anybody who was thinking of getting upset at me would get the Death Eye treatment and consequences as necessary. Including DH. Especially DH.

7 is plenty old enough to clean up after himself, especially if it was no accident. I'd also let DH know if he doesn't like the way you handle it then he can clean the underwear.

No you weren't.

I would have marched said child into his fathers napspot and turned said child around so his bum was in Dads face and woken Dad up. Then I would have said "SSon has pooed in his pants rather than stop playing his game. Please clean him and speak to him." And walked away.

DH didn't have to lift a finger, you did it all. Of course he can criticize your actions because he didn't have to scrub shit of his kids bum.

And then I would have taken the control for the game and locked it in my car.... Done that before. Or taken to power cord. They get to stare at the Xbox 360 or whatever and can't do a damned thing.

I don't think you were firm enough!

BTW, I have done a version in real of both main ideas. I was babysitting ssthen11 while dh was out. We'd only been married weeks and I had not found my "voice" yet in regard to skids. So ss is playing his game as his dad always lets him and I become aware he has wet himself.

Since I was alone in the house I took care of it but I called DH and expressed my displeasure. He fell all over himself apologizing I went through that and asked for my advice. I let him have it with both barrels. "DON'T LET HIM PLAY ELECTRONICS ALL DAMN DAY WHAT THE HELL!!!?"

Another time SD was bullying SS over use of the computer. I intervened several times and told SDthen14 if I had to come in one more time it would get unplugged. Not ten minutes later I hear the same commotion. I stalked into the room calmly, dropped on my hands and knees, unplugged the whole shebang under the desk right at her feet. I know that screws up the whole setup but too bad so sad I'm not worrying my pretty little head about that. I warned you. Several times. Now you know I mean what I say.

See, I would not have the clothes laundered. They would go straight in the dumpster in the alley. Not having that in my washer. Not having anyone who touches me touch that so at the top of that list is DH. Let him feel the pain in his pocketbook.

And, yes, there would be a period of no games at all but ultimately the "normal" we resume to would be 30 minutes a day. Go outside and climb a tree for heaven's sake! Make a fort! Play tag! hate those damn glowing screens. all the kids look like children of the corn anymore.

Yep, I agree -I wouldn't have even touched them in the first place. It's just disgusting and the kid needs all electronics removed until he is mature enough to understand that stopping playing to go to the toilet is what he MUST do. If he's still doing it then no consequence so far has been right.

ONE time SS11 had the runs. ex=OH helped him shower and change, and the next day I grab my laundry hamper to find that OH has just thrown his shitty pants down the laundry chute into my hamper. I went ballistic. OH did not understand the problem. I tell him "do you see me sorting the laundry? Do I wear gloves? I am doing the washing for 6 people, its a massive pile an I just tip the hampers on the floor and sort into colours etc. I do NOT necessarily look closely at each item before I pick it up. Do you think I want to be grabbing a handful of your sons shit? Is THAT what you want for me? Am I seriously that unimportant in your life that you are ok with me cleaning up your kids shit? AND - my dd's often will throw something that they may need for dancing the next day down the chute without thinking (like a competition jacket - they need to wear it every comp) I do not EVER want them goin through the hamper and touching your sons shit, I do not want it all over everyone elses clothes, I do not want it in MY washing machine!"

He's all like "Well what am I supposed to do with them?"

"clean them you Ahole. Like you just expected me to do! Rinse them in the sink until they are relatively clean and THEN put a load on DH!"

Please don't feel bad, I agree with all the other posters -you are actually too soft. There is no way I would be cleaning up skid poop. Next time it happens go to DH weaker him up and say "your kid has shat himself again and needs cleaning up". I wouldn't be too quick to take away the games as it would be interesting to see how many episodes of poop cleaning DH would take before he snaps }:)
Remember next time it happens notify DH and let him handle it (literally).

Since he thinks you were too harsh, next time it happens (which hopefully it does NOT), wake your DH up to handle it!

For the record, my SS had this problem for awhile. That was our breaking point for enforcing a daily limit on video games. He was messing his pants while playing and also not eating his meals because he couldn't wait to get back to playing. He had a couple of days of absolutely NO video games before DH and I discussed and agreed on the 2 hour per day limit (we only have him on weekends).

Umm Ewww.

Secondly, does your SS8 have autism, mental retardation, or any other number of profound developmental delays or intellectual disabilities? Because shitting oneself at this age and sitting in it is NOT even remotely normal. Even an 8 MONTH old will cry to have its diaper changed.

There's something developmentally or mentally wrong with this kid. Your fiance needs to figure that out before you marry and commit your life to him.

Why are you cleaning up after Sir Sits In Shit A Lot?

This is so disgusting. All of it. The last time one of my kids shit themselves was when BS9 shit his underwear at 4. I made him hand wash them and it never happened again, and he has learning disabilities!

Do not clean up after this kid. Make kid and DAD do this or it will never resolve itself.

Hi, I have a 10 YO BS. That is heavy into to gaming. First, I've never had him crap himself BUT he tends to miss the toilet a lot when peeing. I have him clean around the toilet himself. Wipe up the floor, ect on hands and knees because that's what I have to do if he doesn't. So, I'm with the other ladies I don't think it was too harsh. I will say, for me it hasn't solved the peeing all over problem either, but at least I'm not cleaning it.

Second, this has been HUGE for us. I use a free app called "chore monster". It has evolved into more of a behavior thing for us, I do actual chores using a different system. Anyway, any good behavior I want to reinforce he get points for and he has to earn points for "screen time". Anywhere from hanging up his coat (10 pts) to not farting or burping at the dinner table (my current cause for concern) 300 pts. The points will eventually ratchet down as he "owns" this good habit and I work on another. He'll still earn points for it, just not such a huge amount. Healthy snack earns points, unhealthy choice costs points. Anyway, it really works for us. No argument on brushing teeth, taking shower basically he wants to do all those things to earn points. It is no work for me. He hits a button on his computer and it sends to my phone for me to approve if he does something. He hits a button after accumulating enough points to cash in an hour of screen time and I approve from anywhere. I could be out and he can't play until I hit button. It has really limited his gaming time and other activities are filling more of his day. As he gets points for reading, playing outside ect. I don't keep track of anything.

I have never been a positive reinforcement mom. I would usually just kick his ass But this has really worked. So if he was crapping his pants. I would limit screen time to half hour increments and make not crapping his pants worth maybe an hour of screen time. Make it in HIS 7 yo brains best interest to NOT crap himself. Good Luck!!

Harsh? Not even a little.

If I was you, I would tell SS no more video games until he can go a week 'accident' free. If he earns it back and does it again, then it's 2 weeks. If he wants it bad enough, he will do it.

And for your DH? He should be the one cleaning his kid up and showing him how to wash out his pants as well as doing a load of laundry.

This is NOT NORMAL! My 11 year old son holds it too long, to where he has to run to the bathroom to pee. Due to video games. But he would never shit or piss himself . If dad was any kind of normal he would take away the video games. As in take the controllers, or the cords or all the games and lock them up for a month. And tell that boy babies shit and piss themselves. But no, Disney dads would rather their school age child sit in their own shit and piss, just so precious sacred visitation can continue.

Not harsh enough!!!!!

SS10 still poops his pants, mostly at his BMs cuz she doesn't make sure he goes to the bathroom.

SD12 holds it until she is so constipated that the encopresis starts.

When either of them go poop, SO's whole house smells like a damn barn. I told SO that no WAY am I co-habitating with him until his GROWN CHILDREN can control their bodily functions.

I have made SD16 scrub out her nasty bloody panties. I have made SD12 wash her shitty undies in the toilet as well as SS10. Yep, they wash them out in the toilet. I don't even want that crap in my sink! I also have no qualms about LOUDLY AND FREQUENTLY telling them that it is completely DISGUSTING what they are doing. It's not due to any mental or physical ailments, unless you count laziness as one.