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BM Crossed a Line Again and is on Thin Ice!!!

sodonewithpunk's picture

Submitted by sodonewithpunk on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 2:24pm

So, BM decided to hitch a ride with their oldest son to the jail (she doesn't drive) and, I'm sure she waited in the car while her son went into the jail to pick up SS22's property, including his cell phone. BM calls SO releatedly on Sunday, and sends him repeated texts with screenshots of text message conversations that show he was arranging drug deals. In fact, since SS22 was incarcerated, she has found reasons to call SO every day to process every thought and feeling she has related to their little sh*tstain. So I snapped and told him to set boundaries with her about calling daily. Yes- the calls are extremely short and always about SS22. It doesn't matter. She is always interrupting and I'm sick and tired of her presence in our lives. He said he would talk to her. I said "good- because if you don't, I will." 

So...In all of her investigatory wotrk she did going through SS22's phone, she went into my spotify account that he was logged into (dad gave him the password), that sn*tch DELETED my Spotify playlist!!! Just to be a b*tch. I was able to remove his device from the account and change the password, as well as recover my playlist. But seriously? She is 46 years old. WTF is this childish crap?? 

She has a warrant for her arrest and has been a fugitive for a year and a half and is hiding out in her older sons' apartment (where she is also not supposed to be-according to the landlord). Do you have any idea how tempting it is for me to tip off tthe cops and have her tossed in the hooskow?? Especially since she is listed as a respondent on SS22's probation violation case- I think her fugitive status would be good information for those in charge of sentencing her son. 

Comments

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 2:41pm

It would take less than her deleting my Spotify playlist for me to turn her in.  You're exercising amazing restraint.

sodonewithpunk's picture

Submitted by sodonewithpunk on Wed, 02/27/2019 - 4:43pm

She has a bench warrant and not an arrest warrant- which means you get picked up for police contact but they don't seek you out. Also, fear of this getting back to me and destroying my relationship. Because it will hurt his sons, and that hurts him.

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Submitted by TheEvilStepmomS... on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 4:09pm

if you’re feeling really bad about calling the cops you can “accidentally” leave her name and number here and I guarantee somebody here will... I’m just saying 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 4:10pm

I would have reported her. Ages ago. If you know where a fugitive is and you don't do anything, it can get you in trouble too. Some b**** like her definitley isn't worth that. 

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 4:32pm

If she is shitty enough to delete a spotify list she will do anything she can to you if given opportunity. Her only opportunity to "hurt" you was the spotffy list. By not reporting her, you are only giving her more opportunity

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Tue, 02/26/2019 - 5:00pm

You really married beneath you, didn't you?

If you're ever to have even a chance at a peaceful marriage, you're going to have to disengage completely and erect very firm boundaries with your H. Remove this trash utterly from your life and don't allow any toxic seepage.

One statement that helped me reshape my life years ago actually came from a tv show. A character said something like "I can have this (meaningful career, good friends, stability), but not if I have that (dysfunctional trailer trash family, mentally ill mother, ignorance and poverty) ". It resonated because both DH and I come from dysfunctional families and have grappled with relatives' drama leaking into our life. We have had to make some hard choices and cut people off, all to achieve a healthy life.

Your H is all caught up in the dysfunction, the FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt), and the drama that is the norm for his family. He and BM like the high frequency of drama, don't they? And he keeps trying to drag you into it, too. You need to erect an imaginary brick wall around your home and yourself, and implement a zero tolerance policy for this crap. Tell him to keep his dealings with his adult kids and first family problems to himself. Don't discuss it, don't put up with it, shut him down every time. This will change the frequency/level of stress in your home. Once you've shut His baggage out of Your life,  calm will return to your home. Life at a lower frequency is wonderful, and your H might just decide he prefers it.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Wed, 02/27/2019 - 2:03am

You're too close to the situation to think clearly. For you, if you turn her in to the cops, it would be an act of revenge and you feel that revenge is beneath you. I'm not in your situation and I'd consider it an act of a decent, law-abiding citizen. 

sodonewithpunk's picture

Submitted by sodonewithpunk on Wed, 02/27/2019 - 4:52pm

I don't know that revenge is beneath me. It's more- thinking the situation through- It could get his older 2 sons in trouble for harboring her and keeping her illegally in their apartment, and they could lose their housing- then guess who would have more stepsons living in her house??