I've come to a realization.....
I'm not a wife or step-mom, I'm a glorified live in babysitter. i only have authority on the kids when im alone with them. DH belittles me and treats me like a child most days, assumes not only authority of his kids with discipline but tries with my daughter as well. i will no longer live where im just a babysitter and being treated like a child myself. he will be mad i know he will but i dont care anymore. not my kids not my problem in fact my problem is dh mostly so im solving that problem and decided im leaving tonight. i have nowhere to go no family here but there are shelters and thats where im headed. he can figure out how to get his kids to school tomorrow. i deserve more and better. if i were allowed id just go home but hes already threatened me with charging parental abduction of our 11month old son if i were to go that way. so unless he lets me i dont see being able to go home. 
- soconfused's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
no i know its true he could
no i know its true he could call it that because i came up from the states to live with dh in canada and its leaving the country to go back home. so unless he says OK i cant cross the border technically. but since im sponsored here he has to pay the government back should i need welfare. so he still has repercussions to keeping me here.
Im moved from Canada to come
Im moved from Canada to come to the states. Our baby was born here and I was told that I am not allowed to cross the border with her, I can't even cross state lines with her. If I do I will be charged with child abduction. Unless we go to court or he signs a paper stating i can take her. Sad sometimes cause I feel trapped.
mommy_of_4 thats exactly how
mommy_of_4 thats exactly how i feel. trapped here. when i leave i cant cross the border or go home but i have no family here whereas he has all his family here.
Yep, ALL my family is in
Yep, ALL my family is in Canada. His family is all here and it completely and totally SUCKS!! I seriously feel for you. *hugs*
my biggest fear if DH and I were to divorce is the fact that my DD was born here in the states and that no judge will find it in her best interest to relocate to a different country. And my DH has made it clear that he will NOT let me take her back to Canada, I can have her for the summers. so needless to say, I put up with alot of shit because I REFUSE to leave my child.
same here i refuse to leave
same here i refuse to leave my child too but i also refuse to stay with him i can stand on my own feet but ultimately i want to go home. like i said tho he can keep me here but i know he's obligated to support me for at least another 1.5 years and my daughter for 8.5 more years due to the sponsorship so i go on welfare hes only hurting himself. if he'd let me just go home i wouldnt care if he even paid CS i just want to go home.
I have one word for
I have one word for you...CONTROL. That is exactly what we gave them by moving to their country and having a child with them. Some people probably think that its as simple as going to court and obtaining custody but its not that simple. You are from a different country. Your DH is a citizen of the country in which your child was born. Your child is a citizen of that country. I am certain that there are not many judges, who are also more then likely a citizen of that country, that are going to give the other parent the right to take the child back to their country. You really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have gone over this crap in my mind OVER and OVER again.
thankfully at least our son
thankfully at least our son dh and i have have dual citizenship for both usa and canada so he'd be fine in both places its just i do everything with him and do most of the taking care of him dh barely does any of that.
If there isn't a custody
If there isn't a custody order in place, there isn't a child abduction if I'm not mistaken. He would have to take it to court and be awarded custody first. Could you head home and start divorce proceedings from there?
would take me at least 3 days
would take me at least 3 days to drive home maybe more and no money to fly if i just ran home he'd start it before i could im sure of it
My DH have a child together
My DH have a child together and I was told by the police that if I were to leave I can take her as long i don't cross state lines. Then its considered child abduction. Possession is nine tenths of the law until custody is established in court.
Good for you! Call legal aid
Good for you! Call legal aid in your area as well!
Soconfused, My thoughts and
Soconfused,
My thoughts and prayers are with you today, far away here in South Africa!!!
Stay strong! ((((HUGS))))
Oh my! I can't imagine
Oh my! I can't imagine feeling so trapped. I am so sorry. I wish you all the luck and strength. You can leave and you will do well on your own.
I would definitely try to
I would definitely try to find a lawyer or someone who could give you some free legal advice.
My only other advice to you would be... You know, MY state is only right across the border from Canada a couple provinces over...he would expect you to go right home, not to some other state.
It is YOUR child too and YOU are still an American Citizen. Lawyer up and let him SEE how expensive it would be to try to obtain custody across the border!
[disclaimer: this is not intended as legal counsel and I would definitely NOT want you to get in trouble if you could. But I can't imagine the United States taking YOUR child away and giving it to a Canadian citizen]