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UPDATE: Thievery and Stepkids

Snarky's picture

This morning, after a week with their BM, SD 10 and SD 7 came for their weekend visit. SD10, the one caught trying to sneak stuff out of our house, is grounded from TV, computer, or video games until tomorrow (we only have them until Monday morning, which is the first day of school). She accepted her punishment and took it like a champ; thinking that was the end of it. WELL, we were all out in the garage doing odds and ends when the SD's look up and see a police car park in front of our house. "Why are the police here?" says SD 7, SD 10 looses all color in her face at this point. Little did these kids know that DH and I requested an officer come to the house and speak to the kids about the consequences of lying and stealing.

DH and I told the officer what SD 10 did prior to him speaking to the kids. We also filled him in on the SK's mom, who is a convicted felon and exhibits this type of behavior, and we want to make sure these kids know we are not going to tolerate it from them . He was very understanding, since he has two kids near the same age. So the office proceeds to explain to these two, very nicely btw, what happens to children who steal. He discussed the law, juvenile hall, and how the kids there are not the nicest. After finding out that SD 10's older sibling SD 13 (who doesn't come over) picks on her, the officer tells her that there are worse kids in juvy, and you can't get away from them. He went into detail about the clothing they wear and the thin mattresses they sleep on. He also discussed that police officers remember faces of delinquent kids, so he hopes he doesn't see these two going bad. SD's.

DH and I are sitting quietly, watching these two wide-eyed girls hang on every word this guy is saying. After he leaves, SD 10 discussed her feelings; she initially thought she was going to go to jail. Needless to say, she was happy she didn't! She expressed that she will never ever take anything again without asking. Wonder what Transtesticle will say once she finds out.

Comments

Sarah101's picture

What a fantastic way you dealt with the stealing issue! I know that cops would rather do these kind of visits than the other kind of visits that would result years later--you know, the visits that involve handcuffs, a lot of paperwork, and bail.

Years ago, when my BD was about 7 years old, I called the police when she went for a ride on her bike and I couldn't find her 30 minutes later. Now, we live a a pretty tame area and I wasn't too worried, but she knew the rules about calling me, letting me know where she was going, etc. I figured she was at the local park and told the police officers just that. I also told them that I wanted BD to have a "lightbulb moment." That lightbulb moment may well save her life some day.

About 20 minutes later, here comes BD riding down the street on her bike being followed by 2 police cruisers with their lights flashing (must've been a slow crime day!). She was completely freaked out. The police officers proceeded to give her a firm talk about letting your parents know where you will be going, and all the bad things that could happen to kids who are alone on bikes, etc.

It worked! Ever since then (and it's been 6 years), BD is the most concientious parental informer about where she will be, who she will be with, and when she will be back. I know that somewhere in her mind is the fear that I will call the police again, and that fear outweighs any other fear because teenagers are, of course, invincible in their own minds while their parents are completely paranoid, right?

Bottom line: Police officers are parents too, and they are our allies when we need them BEFORE something bad happens.