won’t say we went on vacation, I’ll call it a visit to H’s family out of the country. During this time we stood at his “second mom’s” house, a friend’s mom who took him in after his house burned when he was 12. Many people visited her during our stay, one of which was a man who talked about his kids and what they were doing. His 2 youngest sons are 23 and 25, both moved out. 

I told H in private that I wish SS21 could launch and he became upset, saying that I’m saying the next man is better than him for the way his children turned out. I told him that’s not what I meant, that I just feel a twinge of jealousy when I hear how people launch their kids, yet we struggle to launch SS21. The argument got so ugly that he said he didn’t feel right about “kicking” his son out when “he” owns an apartment. I told him that there was the reason I could never get accustomed to calling his apartment ours, though he always insisted on it. Also I’m not saying we should kick SS21 out, I’m saying we should launch him. Currently my younger brother lives in his apartment and pays rent on time, we’ve never had issues with him. However, for this reason I do want my brother to move out. I have been wanting H to sell the apartment so we can use it towards our mortgage or for another venture, but mostly I would like him to liquidate it so that he can help his kids find their own places. 

Should we move SS into that apartment, I feel that he is going to want to lay claim to it, especially if he gets his gf knocked up. Which would still leave us to try to launch SS16 and SS11. I feel that it would be more equitable to sell it now and divide it up vs if H happens to die and SS live in the apartment. 

It seems to me that H is holding onto the apartment because he is afraid of putting SS out to find an apartment when he owns an apartment already. He can’t see that it’s a horrible idea. SS21 is still bad at saving, I just looked at a bank statement of his where he is in the negative. He lives check fo check, and it’s not because we haven’t taught him to budget. 

I don’t like living with SS21, even thought he’s superficially nice. I don’t feel as though he contributes to our household in a meaningful way. He hangs out with his girlfriend most of the time and they have a toxic relationship. Very recently, she kicked him out of her house after getting shitfaced drunk because he dared to hang out with his friends. Apparently, “someone” beat her up so bad she ended up in the hospital with stitches to her face.  I asked SS point blank if he did it and he denied it, stating she said she couldn’t remember who did it. The girl then tried to show up at my apartment unannounced and because he wouldn’t answer her calls, she text me asking me to let her in. I told her I could not do that and that she has to give him space. She confirmed the story he said, that she was beat up and could not remember by who and that she was sorry for kicking him out. I told her to give him his space, and that I could not allow that dynamic around DD6. She apologized and left, but they got together again. 

I also highly suspect that he’s given SS16 edibles, as evidenced by me seeing empty wrappers of edibles in the car. I feel like he and SS16 have this dynamic where they hold secrets and seem to act in each other’s best interest. SS21 also leaves his marijuana everywhere in his room, along with vaping paraphernalia. I believe this is where his money goes, but I could be wrong. 

I am just tired of living with him, and H told me that he told him he has to move out by the end of the year. 

Now, all of a sudden, H wants to leave his job of 20 years to become a truck driver, which I thought was great, until he told me it was for long hauls. He said he realizes that being a doorman is not enough to make it, and that he wants to do it so that he can get “the boys” into it so they can have an Avenue to be successful. He doesn’t get that SS21 just isn’t ready for that, no matter how much he wants it. If you follow my blog, we bought SS a car for his birthday and he totaled it in 3 months. A few months later, we put another car on credit for him, which “stopped working” 3 months later. He did pay our card back, but it’s obvious he can’t get regular driving down yet, so I don’t think truck driving would work for him at the moment. 

The worst part of this is that H thinking long hauls are the best option. I asked him what he plans on doing with his kids and he said he’d take SS16 on the road with him. I asked him what about DD6 and he said that he just wants to be able to get a skill where he can work anywhere and now that his boys are grown he feels he can do this. So I guess DD6 is not deserving of a full time father because well you know, step kids need to be shown another way out by their dad because they otherwise can’t hack it in the real world.